I found out last month that my dh, had been writing to a man that lives in the same town as we do. I felt like dying inside when I found the emails and confronted dh. He said that he was just curious why a guy would do that and that he would never do it again. He begged and pleaded for me to not leave him, and I did not. I want my children to have a "normal" family and I believe that he never met the man in person. I was doing okay until I suggested that he go and talk to our pastor about it and he refused. My dh is one of the elder's of our church and we have not been to church since this came out. I feel like it is just being hidden and I am supposed to forgive and forget quickly as to not disturb our life. I also feel as if I have to hide a dirty secret and I can't tell anyone. I did tell my mother, because when I found the emails, I fell apart and started to hyperventilate and I needed someone to come and sit with my kids. He was not happy that I had told her and he said it was uncomfortable for him to see her after that. I thought I could just shove it away inside and get over it, but today I am not doing so well. I feel like I have put up with emotional abuse, verbal abuse and my kids have put up with physical abuse from him and now this is just one more thing. WHY DO I STAY?????????