Wow. She had his babies? How long has he been cheating? I think you seeing a counselor is a good thing. Dont forget you should see one by yourself too. To help you through this horrible time. How did you find out? If he came to tell you it is a step in the right direction but if he did not have a change of heart and instead got caught...that is a different matter.

he came clean about it monday morning. that along with other things (that he got high one night) just everyrhing out on the table he said it happend once a year ago we gotten into a fight and he was just hanging out with her to smoke and it happend and he didn't were protection and but it was only the once. he claims but it's hard to trust

But they had babies from that one night? It would be really hard to get over that but many women do. It will be hard because they will always be in your life and he will be paying child support for years. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Whatever happens just know you are not alone. You are never alone.

he's not sure if they are actually his. it all doesn't make sense I don't think I can be wth him if he does have other kids. he knows he wouldn't be able to afford it and would terminate rights

I feel like the next 4 days till counseling is going to take forever I can't process everything. it's so confusing bexcuse we had 3 pregnancies and each time was a struggle. . Idk how I'm going to keep my strength these next 4 days. it's so hard when you wanna just be held and told it's ok but the only person u want to do thst is the one who hurt u

Number 1- breath. Slowly and deeply.
Number 2- no matter what happens you will survive this
Number 3- you are in shock. You need time. You have this
Number 4- you aren't alone. Many have experienced the exact same thing and come through it to the other side
Number 5-move. It is the hardest thing to do. Take a shower get dressed be with your kids.
Your counselling session will help you and your husband find the truth. You deserve the truth.
You will be ok.
I know- I have lived it.

Your husband is lying to you. How could he not know if the kids are his? He's lying about it just being one night, that's what every lying and cheating spouse says when they've been caught; it's textbook.

Most cheating spouses spew lies like a can of pop under pressure when caught. Betrayed spouses, in a state of shock and disbelief, feel a need to believe those lies to preserve themselves. He says it was just one night after a fight, hanging out for a smoke, it happened and he didn't wear protection? Poppycock! He's a liar of huge proportions, and he's shifting part of the blame onto you for getting into a fight with him, as if that's a good enough excuse to do what he did. He's probably been seeing her for a whole lot longer than he's telling you. He was just hoping you'd never find out, in order to keep his dirty little secret in the closet.

Couples counselling isn't effective until you've both had individual counselling. Most cheating spouses lie and hide the truth, and many go underground with the affair during couples counselling. You have a long road of discovery ahead of you, and I would consider seeking help of a registered therapist to talk to through this very difficult time.

I wish you well.