Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
So I'm running my boutique with fierce determination from 6 am to 6 or 7 pm. I never turn away a customer due to HIS detrimental decision for ALL OF OUR LIVES. Sometimes I could be there til 7 @ the latest. I work hard, always have from the age of 17 til now. I felt I deserved time to myself, since my niece had the baby. My roommate and I decided to go out and have a fun-filled evening. We ended the night with eating at Taco Cabana and headed home @ 4: 30. Yeah I know it was extremely late. As I sit here and type this I realize that I HAVE to PRAY HARD about this. I'm Coming down Interstate 75 from downtown Atlanta (which is about a 40 to 50 mile drive), playing my CD, my roommate is out cold, and I'm breezing along. I'm being a defensive driver which means I look at EVERYTHING around me (people CANNOT drive here or they simply don't give a rat's bleep) and you have to be extra careful. They cross lanes sometimes so I make sure to view any cars that I pass between. People get various types of tags that say different things and I look at this tag and it's HIS tag number. I can honestly admit that I blinked to make sure that I read the tag clearly. I know his tags because I gave them to the proper authorities. And yep it was him.....what a freaking waste. Sad when that instantly pops into your mind with someone you USE to love so much.
1.) QUESTION.....What is that AWFUL , STOMACH TWISTING feeling that comes over you when you see/ run into, talk to over the phone with the CLAD (cheating lying @$$ Dog now we have a new one)?
So of coarse I look over into the car and I couldn't see a front passenger but I saw a head in the back looked as if the car was full.
And I'll be darned if another hard decision doesn't fall into my lap yet again! I could slow down but for some reason I kept driving. I'm unsure if I did that because I didn't want him to think I was following him cause it's clear he's delusional. But I must admit I thought about what if I did follow him. And I also thought about what he did and I got a clear head. I realized after what he had done...It DOESN'T matter anymore who's in the car. That is no longer my concern. He is no longer my concern. I must slip into my big girl panties and admit he was only temporary, I should have KNOWN it, and never got seriously involved with him. MY BAD and I NEED TO SLAP MY OWN DAMN SELF ON THIS ONE. Once I got my mind wrapped around what's BEST for ME and MY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. It's another painful thing to have to do, to look away as if they are a stranger, when you have a new life your both responsible for. BUT DAMMIT I DID IT. I'm crying my gutted heart out as I type now realizing how very saddened I was in having to do it. I zoomed off into the night. I did look thru the rearview mirror and I notice a few things. He was awfully close to the truck in front of him and they both drove at a very lazy speed. That spells he's smoked some weed. I also noticed a headlight was out which made sense that he followed so closely as not to be detect by police. That feeling stayed in my belly aaaaaaaaaaaall the way home. Thoughts wrestled in my head. I asked myself did I do the right thing by getting the heck outta dodge. I thought about my baby. And all I could come up with was that I didn't do this, I have to THINK OF ME and MY children now. I went to bed but re-read the messages he texted.
Question....Me re-reading the messages he sent me, the letters he wrote me, comparing the differences in the 2 faces that wrote these things, helps me KNOW that NO MATTER WHAT, I have to let him go completely and never look back. Do you think re-reading texts or letters or looking @ photos are bad for a BS's recovery and ability to move forward?
I looked @ his photo and I can honest say I haven't touched a photo of him as an adult since march. When I look at the photo, I see a look in his eyes that I didn't see before. I remember someone saw the photo back in January and said, "C you couldn't look at this photo and see what's in his eyes"? They handed me the photo back and I remember just saying DAMN. There is SOMETHING in his eyes. If I had to describe I would use conniving, calculating, despicable, egotistical, punk as a few choice words. I'm going to pray long and hard on this one.
QUESTION...Why did I pass him that time of morning, when I don't even look for him, rarely think of him, and I was so far from home? Do you think GOD is trying to tell me something?
1.) QUESTION.....What is that AWFUL , STOMACH TWISTING feeling that comes over you when you see/ run into, talk to over the phone with the CLAD (cheating lying @$$ Dog now we have a new one)?
So of coarse I look over into the car and I couldn't see a front passenger but I saw a head in the back looked as if the car was full.
And I'll be darned if another hard decision doesn't fall into my lap yet again! I could slow down but for some reason I kept driving. I'm unsure if I did that because I didn't want him to think I was following him cause it's clear he's delusional. But I must admit I thought about what if I did follow him. And I also thought about what he did and I got a clear head. I realized after what he had done...It DOESN'T matter anymore who's in the car. That is no longer my concern. He is no longer my concern. I must slip into my big girl panties and admit he was only temporary, I should have KNOWN it, and never got seriously involved with him. MY BAD and I NEED TO SLAP MY OWN DAMN SELF ON THIS ONE. Once I got my mind wrapped around what's BEST for ME and MY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. It's another painful thing to have to do, to look away as if they are a stranger, when you have a new life your both responsible for. BUT DAMMIT I DID IT. I'm crying my gutted heart out as I type now realizing how very saddened I was in having to do it. I zoomed off into the night. I did look thru the rearview mirror and I notice a few things. He was awfully close to the truck in front of him and they both drove at a very lazy speed. That spells he's smoked some weed. I also noticed a headlight was out which made sense that he followed so closely as not to be detect by police. That feeling stayed in my belly aaaaaaaaaaaall the way home. Thoughts wrestled in my head. I asked myself did I do the right thing by getting the heck outta dodge. I thought about my baby. And all I could come up with was that I didn't do this, I have to THINK OF ME and MY children now. I went to bed but re-read the messages he texted.
Question....Me re-reading the messages he sent me, the letters he wrote me, comparing the differences in the 2 faces that wrote these things, helps me KNOW that NO MATTER WHAT, I have to let him go completely and never look back. Do you think re-reading texts or letters or looking @ photos are bad for a BS's recovery and ability to move forward?
I looked @ his photo and I can honest say I haven't touched a photo of him as an adult since march. When I look at the photo, I see a look in his eyes that I didn't see before. I remember someone saw the photo back in January and said, "C you couldn't look at this photo and see what's in his eyes"? They handed me the photo back and I remember just saying DAMN. There is SOMETHING in his eyes. If I had to describe I would use conniving, calculating, despicable, egotistical, punk as a few choice words. I'm going to pray long and hard on this one.
QUESTION...Why did I pass him that time of morning, when I don't even look for him, rarely think of him, and I was so far from home? Do you think GOD is trying to tell me something?
...that you are still one hell of a strong woman.
...that you are VERY in touch with how you feel and willing to SEE it, pull out those feelings. You are in no state of denial. How GOOD is that?!
...that you refuse to lay down and die because of what he did. You are one hell of a survivor.
...that you refuse to accept this for you and your son. You have a great respect for yourself. Nothing wrong with that, either.
...you will not be destroyed. Being this honest with yourself won't let you be.
You saw his car and got a bit curious. Hell, I might have done the same thing. Why not? All of this seems like it's a '3 steps forward, 1 step back' deal...this healing after this shit that we have to do...
...and all completely normal...
Sending you support, L~