My husband came upon a suicide at work a few days ago, right before Christmas. He came home and had an emotional breakdown.
He cried madly when I first found out about the affair and although he's been doing everything to make it right with me, he doesn't get emotional. I on the other hand, I'm an emotional wreck every day. So maybe he holds it in for me. Since then, nothing. That is, until a few days ago. This man's death, who he didn't even know, opened the flood gates. He expressed his remorse, the disappointment in himself as a husband and father, how he failed all of us, took everything for granted because of his selfishness. In 17 years, I've never seen this outpouring. It was raw and expressive. And although I don't revel in someone's pain, it made me feel like I'm not the only one saddened by the breaking of our bond.
Our marriage counselor said that eventually I might show compassion which begets mercy, which begets forgiveness. For the first time in two months, I felt empathy for him. Although I still hate what he did, I felt awful for his sadness.
I don't know what happens next. My wall is up and I'm protecting my heart.
Christmas just passed and the chaos served as a distraction from the turmoil of our marriage. At the same time, it depressed me to think that, if this doesn't work, holidays will never be the same and we'll be in separate houses next time. My heart hurts for this marriage, for my family and the children, for him.
For those who are in marriage counseling, beware. Many keep in you going when you should leave, but they want your money.My therapist knew he was not committed but marriage but told me to give him a week to work with him. She did a decent enough job making him feel guilty and he made false promises and I gave him a chance.I asked her about boundaries and transparancy- and she advised me not...
My husband and I have been together for 19 years. I considered him my best friend. We used to talk about everything. There was nothing two of us couldn't tell each other. We have had some issues recently and we separated back in November 2017. Here I am thinking that we are working on our marriage and I find out that he has someone else. I suspected that he had slept with someone else but I...