My husband came upon a suicide at work a few days ago, right before Christmas. He came home and had an emotional breakdown.
He cried madly when I first found out about the affair and although he's been doing everything to make it right with me, he doesn't get emotional. I on the other hand, I'm an emotional wreck every day. So maybe he holds it in for me. Since then, nothing. That is, until a few days ago. This man's death, who he didn't even know, opened the flood gates. He expressed his remorse, the disappointment in himself as a husband and father, how he failed all of us, took everything for granted because of his selfishness. In 17 years, I've never seen this outpouring. It was raw and expressive. And although I don't revel in someone's pain, it made me feel like I'm not the only one saddened by the breaking of our bond.
Our marriage counselor said that eventually I might show compassion which begets mercy, which begets forgiveness. For the first time in two months, I felt empathy for him. Although I still hate what he did, I felt awful for his sadness.
I don't know what happens next. My wall is up and I'm protecting my heart.
Christmas just passed and the chaos served as a distraction from the turmoil of our marriage. At the same time, it depressed me to think that, if this doesn't work, holidays will never be the same and we'll be in separate houses next time. My heart hurts for this marriage, for my family and the children, for him.
My cheating/lying soon to be ex husband is finally out of the house- first night in his own place and I feel great. Will sleep like a baby. I spent a year post d-day trying to make him see how great our life and marriage was but he never cut his whore away and strung me along the whole time- never thinking of our daughter and how her life will be affected by his selfishness. I feel disgust...
My husband and I have been married for one year and two weeks, after three and a half years of dating and a friendship that started in 2007. One month prior to our first anniversary, he told me he wanted a temporary separation because he was having mental health issues (he has a history of Borderline Personality Disorder and substance abuse) and needed time to "get his head in order" and "work on...