My husband came upon a suicide at work a few days ago, right before Christmas. He came home and had an emotional breakdown.
He cried madly when I first found out about the affair and although he's been doing everything to make it right with me, he doesn't get emotional. I on the other hand, I'm an emotional wreck every day. So maybe he holds it in for me. Since then, nothing. That is, until a few days ago. This man's death, who he didn't even know, opened the flood gates. He expressed his remorse, the disappointment in himself as a husband and father, how he failed all of us, took everything for granted because of his selfishness. In 17 years, I've never seen this outpouring. It was raw and expressive. And although I don't revel in someone's pain, it made me feel like I'm not the only one saddened by the breaking of our bond.
Our marriage counselor said that eventually I might show compassion which begets mercy, which begets forgiveness. For the first time in two months, I felt empathy for him. Although I still hate what he did, I felt awful for his sadness.
I don't know what happens next. My wall is up and I'm protecting my heart.
Christmas just passed and the chaos served as a distraction from the turmoil of our marriage. At the same time, it depressed me to think that, if this doesn't work, holidays will never be the same and we'll be in separate houses next time. My heart hurts for this marriage, for my family and the children, for him.
So I saw what I genuinely thought was the epihany- he started saying and doing all the things he should have a long time ago. I held out a small glimmer of hope. Remorse, transparency, seeking out reading to learn how to help repair, etc.I started to feel a level of trust, but did not trust myself that it could be true. For the first time, I peeked at his phone. Trust but verify- right?...
married for 18 years found a year ago that my wife had a emotional affair. She said it was someone she meet during a appointment with a client. She denied it for a long time until I showed her cards I found in the house. Then she admitted it and said there was no sex. But it almost happened one time. The cards were extremely intimate,quotes like I know we can’t be together now but ur my...