Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My question today, is how did you deal with the breaking up period of the affair?
My husband is in the process of ending his affair with the other woman, but it seems like he misses her. He told me today he was going home to sulk and be sad because she is sending him sad texts and then telling him not to contact her. Umm, hello does he not see that is a game? I am still ignoring him, but now I get to look forward to going home to my moping husband who is missing his mistress.
He said he got what he wanted, which was her out of his life, but he seems to almost regret getting rid of her. And its hurtful. I don't expect an instant repair, or bonding-- I don't want that, I don't even know if I want him at this point.
Its my birthday Thursday. I already made plans with my friend to go to dinner at 8pm, because I cannot depend on him to be there for me. This is a constant confusing place to be. He says, she wants nothing to do with him. I say, its a game, she wants you to show her that you are committed to her, thats all. I said I love you, just go be happy and its okay. I am just ready to be done, regardless of the outcome. He says, I love you I just need to do what's right for me.... hmm,, sounds like he is leaning towards going back to her?... is this really my life?
Good thing I want nothing to do with him either right now.. its like oh when she is hurting you, you want me... got it... no thanks
My husband is in the process of ending his affair with the other woman, but it seems like he misses her. He told me today he was going home to sulk and be sad because she is sending him sad texts and then telling him not to contact her. Umm, hello does he not see that is a game? I am still ignoring him, but now I get to look forward to going home to my moping husband who is missing his mistress.
He said he got what he wanted, which was her out of his life, but he seems to almost regret getting rid of her. And its hurtful. I don't expect an instant repair, or bonding-- I don't want that, I don't even know if I want him at this point.
Its my birthday Thursday. I already made plans with my friend to go to dinner at 8pm, because I cannot depend on him to be there for me. This is a constant confusing place to be. He says, she wants nothing to do with him. I say, its a game, she wants you to show her that you are committed to her, thats all. I said I love you, just go be happy and its okay. I am just ready to be done, regardless of the outcome. He says, I love you I just need to do what's right for me.... hmm,, sounds like he is leaning towards going back to her?... is this really my life?
Good thing I want nothing to do with him either right now.. its like oh when she is hurting you, you want me... got it... no thanks
By the way, happy birthday.
I did this dance for 30 years - 2 children - a lifetime and he decided to leave with the newest whore. Don't waste your life.
I will say this. It took me a while to demand no contact. I was a little stunned and going back and forth about whether or not I wanted to rebuild so I just didn't give it much thought. Plus, and this is weird to admit, I didn't feel like I was in a position to make any demands. After what he did that seems kind of ludicrous to me now but in retrospect my self esteem took a pretty big blow when I found out about the A.
I think that might be happening to you too based on some of your posts. At some point you will see with clarity that you will be fine whether you rebuild or decide to go your separate ways. That's what it took for me to start demanding the things I needed. I figured at that point he'll fight for us or we'd just move on.
You will get there in your own time but in the mean time just take care of yourself the best you can and keep trying to implement the 180 (easier said than done I know)
Sending support
I am basically just doing what I need to do to get through the day, but wow does it feel strong sometimes when he comes at me with stupid stuff and I fight back with my strength. I am starting to amaze myself really. I am also doing a self esteem workbook with my counselor which is helping too. As always I appreciate you guys always being there for me, regardless of how crazy or ridiculous my situation, its good you tell it to me straight.