Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I ran into him May 3rd after 4 long months without him. I think I did FANTASTIC. However in the back of my mind I was punishing him hard. I know when I love someone and I want to spend every second with them. I was hoping that he was silently hurting and missing me too. I guess I read to many damn books and watch too much TV! Cause when I did see him, he laughed in my face. He literally had one of the biggest GRINS plastered across his face that I have ever seen. I know it may sound crazy, but it was BRIGHT. Must really be the devil trying to make me hurt further. BUT I REBUKE YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS! That through me off. I mean he called and left several messages crying, asking to come home. Although I refused. His friend Tony, the one who was texting me PRETENDING to really care about the welfare of the kids and I told him that we had been talking. We both admitted to an attraction, but it didn't go further. Yet community penis had the nerve to send me a text that said, "After my boy told me what he told me, I stopped thinking about you". I don't know if he realizes that EVERY SINGLE WORD HE UTTERS TO ME IS ETCHED IN MY HEART FOREVER. There is no saying ugly, demeaning things and then taking them back. Once it rolls of his tongue the damage is done. Now that I think about it, he's said some pretty nasty things to me. I shall purposely remember EVERY SINGLE DEGRADING COMMENT..no matter what he ever tries to come back and say. He pissed me off and I told him I should sleep with your friend. And he told me go right ahead and let his boy have some. VERY VERY DEMEANING AND DISRESPECTFUL!!! That to me means HE REALLY DOESN'T GIVE A FLIP ABOUT ME. I was responding to a text he sent..we were arguing back and forth...I'm telling him what he did was wrong...and he says, "leave me alone you STALKER". That hurt too cause as painful as it was I haven't contacted him or answered any of his calls but he calls me a stalker??????????? It's too confusing or maybe I just take words to seriously sometimes. I truly feel like he's behind a wall on one side of the road and I'm behind a wall on the other. And he's hurling large bricks over the wall and they are landing on my head and heart. He's to immature, stupid, and ignorant to see what he's doing. He's stripping me off any love I THOUGHT he had for me. He has NO IDEA, but it is COMPLETELY OVER FOR US. I wouldn't go back if I wanted to. It's just not in my character to be treated so poorly and then take them back. NO MATTER HOW BAD IT HURTS I MUST AND I WILL WALK AWAY. We can't even be friends. AND THAT IS WHAT HURTS. I just had a baby with someone who is officially DEAD to me at this point. My beautiful little boy just woke up and looked at me and smiled. And through tear soaked eyes i held his little hand and smiled back. He's MY GIFT FROM GOD. Anybody that has ever kept him always says how good he is. He never cries or puts up a fuse. And I was told that GOD did that on purpose. He blessed me with such a sweet, loving and happy baby cause he knows the actions, ways and lack of integrity with the father. The tears are rolling silently, cause I KNOW that from this day forward. I WILL NEVER EVER SPEAK WITH HIM AGAIN. NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE IS. Whatever the baby needs, I simply tell his mom. I will never ask her about him again. NEVER. He has not only disrespected me BEYOND comprehension but has the nerve to laugh when he sees me and hurl insults. He also said, I was the one he let him go, so LET HIM GO. Which I have. I replied with, I don't even contact you and he said then leave him the F alone, damn! But I was responding to his bs texts. He also said he got me hitting him on film and that he has a restraining order on me, but i know that's BS cause nobody has come to serve me. But for him to say those things AS IF IT'S REQUIRED...AS IF I WON'T LET HIM GO. He's garbage! And I cry cause I know that I am detaching myself from him emotionally and his ever so kind words help me out with doing so. I am so confused as to how I EVEN DEALT WITH HIM FROM THE BEGINNING. i LITERALLY PICKED UP A BOY...NOT A MAN.
I think we are all confused, cuz your H, changes his mind like the wind.
But yes, his cutting dagger tongue sure seems to be his tool to hurt. And I get where you said, something about it's hard to forget his words, and they are seared indelibly in your head. I think people have to be held accountable when they misuse their tongue, and turn it into one of the worst weapons on earth. It's extremely painful, and completely unnecessary.
I have a sister who does this often, and then likes to make amends afterward. I have resorted to not talking with her on th e phone, due to this exact behavior. I reminded her to think, and respond, not react. A response is a well thought out answer, but a reaction is just that, impulsive, and usually tends to be very hurtful.
I do think the 180 is the way to go, and I think you need to keep that "wall up", cuz it seems when you allow it to come down, just a tad bit, you are vulnerable, and he seems to know that, and use that! Yup, I agree, he sounds immature, cuz he is not able to control his feelings, and especially his nasty dagger tongue!!!!
But Happy MOther's Day, nonetheless, and don't allow him to ruin your day! Hold that sweet baby boy, and keep thanking God for him, cuz he sounds absolutely sweet and adorable. Focus on "adorable" right now!
Please do not make the common mistake in thinking he is just temporarily insane and he will come to his senses and love you like you want him to. AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.
Your H big grin was his Ego trying not to take another hit, he was trying to project he was fine but he IS fighting the pain inside while near you.
Find out more about "Projection" and the meaning behind it..you'll be surprised what it says about your H. You might want to read up on Narcsisstics(sp)? as well.
If you gave your H's friend even a glimmer of something intimate happening your H would go balistic !!. Your H is only disrespectful IMO because he doesn't know how to communicate with you about his insecurities...that's what speaking that way IS all about...HIS insecurities. He's hurling hurtful words because as you'll find out about "projection" what he's saying is really how he feels about himself. If he say's "stop stalking me!", don't be surprised if that's what he's been doing to you. You have obliterated his EGO and pride. "You let him go"..that is the kiss of death for some men.
I wish you all the best these next few days, keep us in touch!