Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

4,945 Members
18,074 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Infidelity Support Group

Stop running ?

chewdy
chewdy
I just would like some of your opinions. Just last week found out OW has H cell number. H is a supervisor in a hospital of a department and his number is very accessable to get. I know a few people that work with OW and she knows that I do have people just looking out for me. I am not stalking,the contacts that I have are just to let me know if H and OW are seen together. Well anyways ever since 8/09 we have had the phone # changed 2 times.After last weeks phone contact with the OW , I feel rest assured there is nothing further going on.. It just bothers me she has his number.She said that she has her resources just like me. Ok, so H is contacting his IT department to have her number blocked ( becasue it's a work phone) and he told me that he is not goin to keep changing the number everytime we find out she has it. I agree to a point , since things have changed a lot with our relastionship. It just is unsettling. Any advice ? should we stop running and changing the number?
deleted_user
deleted_user
No, I like the idea that she will KNOW that you both are deliberately staying away from her. Some people need a real SLAP in the face before they can grasp the reality...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Is the OW stalking your husband? Did he not end it with her?
chewdy
chewdy
It has ended to my knowledge and H is really putting all his time into repairng our marriage. I don't have that "gut instinct " anymore.
Lstecker
Lstecker
Boy, she sounds like an asshole.

If she keeps contacting him, could you have charges of harassment brought? Not thru her job but as criminal charges?

Hell, I would do it. She really needs some sense smacked upside her head.

L~
deleted_user
deleted_user
Blocking numbers can go on forever if this beyotch is persisitant enough. Perhaps a restraining order is in line here? Men dont like that idea for ego reasons but maybe it would be a good gesture towards you if he did.
runnerkate
runnerkate
I go with Lstecker... harassment charges... or the real threat of civil action
deleted_user
deleted_user
I really like Rote's answer. But I would like to add, why are they working together? I know that's a tall order in this day of job suckiness, but is there ANY chance at all that either your H or the OW can leave? I think ultimately that's the answer and should be the goal.

-TheRule
deleted_user
deleted_user
The Rule is right.

However, should you stop running and change the number?

Does she ever call him? If so, does he tell you she is reaching out? Or, does she just enjoy making it known to people that she can get the number?

Well, if she enjoys letting people know she has his number, I can tell you how to teach her not to enjoy it.

Ok, Ok, no I wont do that! Im on the High Road now.

Stop running, If your H does anything further w/ her or anyone else, it will come into light. If you are getting along with him, and things are smooth then dont worry about it until you need to. You will know when and if that time comes. After all, it always does.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I need to clarify that last sentence........

I am not predicting he will have another affair. I meant to say that: If he does something again you will know. We always know.
chewdy
chewdy
I have to attempt to learn to trust that H is telling me the truth, that she has not called him. I think she just has the number just to say she does. H knows that if he is continuing to lie about this, it is the last straw with our marriage.We have been doing very well and the communication is constant and daily. They work in the same hospital , but in two different buildings. It really was a great stress relief bitching her out the other day. :)