I'm so frustrated. My husband of 7 yrs about 4 weeks ago had a radical change in behavior- he's now going out 3-4 times a night for "a beer" and/or dinner. I don't know the people he's going out with. He's announced he's been 4th on the list in our family and now's its all "about him" and he's looking out for number 1 regardless of how I feel or what I think. He is very much an introvert and long time gamer with only few close friends. He basically shut down after we got married and I was trying to get pregnant (2 yrs). After we had kids (twins) he completely let me do everything and checked out as a partner. He reports he tried to "save out marriage" two years ago when he came to me in the middle of the night saying we need to work on our relationship as the kids will eventually be gone and we will be left with each other. While I understood that I felt pressured and alone to take care of the kids, house and a part time job without a partner. We ended up scheduling a sitter every Sunday afternoon and while I think it may have helped some we had problems with sitters and ended up stopping the routine sitter and I ended up going back to work close to full time. He has become more and more recluse and reticent in the past year spending most of his time in his office gaming. He started college part time while working full time last Fall and things escalated. I approached him nearly every night asking if we could spend our evenings together (rather than me watching TV alone after putting the kid to bed at 8pm). Now the excuse that he had school work provided an easy out so we spent less and less time together. We both started dieting late last year and going to the gym. I could tell his confidence was boosting and he started to buy new clothes and rather suddenly started going out a lot. I told him I wasn't comfortable with that and what about us both going out some time and spending time in the evenings together. That worked for about 1 week and with him going out until late, I would be a mess the night before and then next morning feeling so disrespected as his wife. (he wouldn't tell me when he'd be home). I asked to speak with him and asked him directly if he wanted a divorce as he was acting like he had two feet out the door. He said "yes, for now" . He was so volatile and blamed me for the state of our relationship and stating I was only willing to work on the marriage when he was ready to walk out the door and I he tried to save our relationship two years ago. I admitted that I was very focused on my babies (what Mom wouldn't be) and agreed with him. He has been holding statements that have hurt his feelings that I've said over the past 7 years and do not know if he can forgive me to move forward with the relationship as he's said if someone has broken his trust he has NEVER let someone back in. He said he doesn't know if he can forgive me. So here I am with 2- 4 yr olds and a husband I feel is holding me hostage (not really) if he is really committed to working on our relationship. I asked if he would see a counselor and he said if HE picked the counselor. I set one up shortly after all this happened as I need the support but he has initiated nothing. He's at least admitted he feels it's his problem if he can forgive me and move on and he says it's "admirable that you can just forget the past and move on as if nothing has happened" For me I don't forever hold grudges like he does. So My counselor said he would like to see my husband once also and then see us together and my husband agreed. The appointment is next week. Something tells me he's gonna cancel...Any feedback or anyone with a similar experience?