Yes we all have, that is why we are here.
You are winning by the mere fact you are here too.
Stop focusing on him, work on yourself. You can not change what he did and it has not bearing on you, he chose to do it.

Stop looking at the past, you can no more change the fact you missed a bill payment than he cheated.

Your soul needs your strength to heal. Stop yourself, you must retrain your thinking, it is not easy or quick.
Daily journeys, taking time out for yourself, looking forward to your next goal to your next happy place is the only way you will heal.

Get you some friends and family that will listen to you and help you heal. You need to do the hard work of gaining your self esteem back.

You are not alone. Your post concerns me that you are considering suicide. Do you have a counselor, because it is really important that you seek counseling with a trained therapist. What your husband did has no bearing on who you are. You did not cause him to do these things; he made these choices. It says nothing about your value. It says everything about his brokenness. Here is the link to the national suicide prevention hotline:

1-800-273-8255

Their website also has an online chat option available to. I really encourage you to reach out to someone and to get into counseling. I also encourage you to make an appointment with your doctor, who can prescribe medication to help with the depression. I went to my doctor after I found out my husband was leaving us for the other woman, and he gave me a prescription for my depression and anxiety. It made a world of difference. One thing to realize is that everyone's body chemistry is different. It may take a few tries to find the right medicine for you, so if one does not work, do not give up. Talk to your doctor and

If you are even considering suicide as a solution you need to find a good therapist. Anti depressants could help also.

I understand your pain. I am anti-medication typically but had to get Xanax , lorazepam, and trazadone to help my anxiety. I still Can’t sleep through the night. Every day I wish I would die because the pain is unbearable. Are you staying in the relationship? Is he remorseful? Does he want to be a better man? You can message me if you ever need to talk.

You are so precious please believe that and you are definitely not alone. Dealing with something like this can be very difficult. But, you should be working through it. Have you seen anyone, like a counselor? It can be hard, but talking through everything is often the best way to process it all and heal from it. Take care of yourself, and love yourself. What are some things that make you happy? Do them. :) You will get through this.

Thank you all for the kind words and thoughts. I do see a psychiatrist and am on antidepressants and anxiety medication. My husband is remorseful and has done his best to make this up to me but I have such a hard time forgetting all these details of all the cheating. I did contact the national suicide hotline. I am trying to find a counselor who can help me to process all these feelings I have. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you and please keep me in mind. With gratitude and deep appreciation of all your kindness, kim.

Ask you psychiatrist to change medication. Not all anti-depressant drugs work for everyone. This one could be exacerbating the problem. I went through this until I found the right medication. Are you getting any sleep? Lack of sleep will aggravate your situation. If you are not sleeping, you will need to tell your psychiatrist. If the normal medication does not work, you might want to consider Xyprexa as a last solution although it has very bad side effects; however, it will rest your mind and give you the rest you truly need to get out of this cycle.

Hi Kim, I am new to this support group. I was looking over older posts and came across yours, how are you doing?