Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
We all know that relationships are complicated. They take alot of effort. Some of us are on our second marriage, as I am, or even a third. But when you have children it gets even more difficult because it's not really about you anymore. I love my husband very much. I also hate him immensly for what he did. I found out about about this time two years ago. Every year it brings up memories. I cannot help but still look through his things to find evidence that the cheating is happeneing aging. Ity makes me crazy ebcaseu any little thing sets me off now. A look the way he breaths, the tone, if its anything off I think he is cheating again. He swore he would never do it but he also did it before so why should i believe it will never happen?. We are both very sexual people. Sometimes I think I am even more sexual than he is. Which is why I am even surprised that he did. I won't go too far into the story of all the details but like I said life is comlex and when you have kids, you have stress, challenges, pain eveyone is different. It's not so simple. I want to move on. Sometimes I want to run away. I dont know that I ever can actually fogive him. Do I also go and cheat to make myself feel even and better? Do I just learn to live with the pain? I have spoken to therapists & freinds and I think that made it even worse in some ways. I'm a very attractive woman. I get hit on continuosly. I want my husband to only want to have sex with me though and I dont know that is the case. I nderstand we likw other people but the final act should be with the one we commited to unless there are arangements made. HAs anyone ever tried having an open relationship? Has that helped in anyway? I mean we are all adults here and proffessional but I dont know how to move forward. Some days like many of you said are better than others. Crying, then laughing then not really caring and hating him but for the most part. The pain is so real. It just comes and goes and numbs me then fuels me. Thank you all for reading and any advice. this is my first time on here. I'm hoping this will give me a better platform. I wish there was a way to meet others to speak face to face about the hurt and the pain. SO we can all feel each other.
It could be something he isn't doing or that perhaps you need more therapy to process the pain with some help.
There wasn't much detail on the affair or how he has changed or repented etc.
January 1st first thing in the morning I hacked her messenger and read their conversation.
January 7th finally had her confess to having sex with this man.
It’s made me a wreck. I’ve lost all confidence in myself. We’re still together even though it took her 4 months to stop talking to him (coworkers) and she only did so as she was fired (probably because of the drama they created). I too have thought about having my own affair. Bur after 20 years together - I’m in my late 30s - and two kids there is no way i would be comfortable with another woman. It would wreck me worse. She says she is sorry. I have full access to her phone history, email, and Facebook. I still don’t trust her 100%. Before her affair I didn’t even think about the word trust because I took it for granted. It was inconceivable she would put herself in a position to get naked and have sex with another man. I unfortunately hacked her phone and read a lot of her deleted texts from earlier in her affair and that made everything worse. Just reading the things they did to each other. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I think I’m just here still because of the kids and the comfort of not being alone. I’m not in therapy. I’m not sure it would benefit. I’ve talked to two therapists and both gave me the impression they thought I was wrong in staying. Not a day goes by I don’t think of he affair. Not a day goes by I don’t think of scenarios where I bump into this guy in public and beat the living shit out of him. I’ve had some dark thoughts too. Wishing I’d just die in my sleep and have this all end.
It takes time for someone to earn trust back. My wife has done everything possible to help me heal since she confessed, but nothing can make the healing and trust come back fast.
The thing is that trust is the essence of closeness in any real relationship.
From her side it is her responsibility to earn trust by being open and honest. If you had to pry to get information before and after then she has not worked very to earn the trust and you have no reason to trust her.
From your side you need to make sure you trust the right people in life and for all us betrayed spouses we trusted the wrong people. It doesn't matter if you were blind to obvious signs or your spouse is extremely skillful at being twofaced. If you do not trust your wife actively being open/honest it isn't your issue but hers.
In my case, my wife has been completely open, answered all my questions, and had ended the affair about 5 months before confessing. The problem of trust is more on my end where it is a slow process to get past the amount of betrayal and all the lies and pain.