So I'm new here and just looking for support and words of wisdom.. My wife of 9 years lost her father last year and a few days after his passing she received a text from an old B/F saying sorry to hear off her loss and that he was there is she ever wanted to talk. So they text back and forth for 3 weeks which I was never told off and she saved his number under a girl's name in her phone. I came home from work one night and she was feeling down and was saying there was nothing to do in the house. I suggested she went to the bingo. She jumped at the chance and left me at home with our boys. 

A few nights later she made a move on me in the bedroom department but when it went to get physical she turned over and said no. 

Roll on 5 weeks later. I was out in the morning taking her mum to work and when I came home she tells me she never went to the bingo. She went over to the ex B/F house to talk but things happened and she slept with him. 

I walked out the door. She called me a few hours later and asked if I was coming home to talk. I asked her if she was pregnant ( I've had the snip 2 years prior as we had a miscarriage and she didn't want to go through that again ) she asked me what makes me ask that. I said I had a rite to know .she said yes. My next question was if you hadn't fell pregnant would you have told me you slept with him and she said no... 

She told me this the day before she had a termination booked. I supported her through the termination. I don't hate her. I only hate what she done..  

She also caught herpes from him so this will be a constant reminder of her one night mistake. 

She was worried I would have stayed after this. In all honesty.. it crossed my mind but being truthful. I would never forgive myself. My marriage vows meant something to me when I said them. 

So how do I feel... I love her and my boys to bits. She turned my life around. Before I meet her I was a loose cannon and was in and out of bother for years. After I meet her I screwed the head and settled down. I don't want to throw away the last 11 years away. 

Why am I here.. I want to know how to live with this? I had put it in the back of my mind but she has had a Herpes out break which has now made me realise I'll need to live with this for the rest of my life.. it's going to be a reminder of this every time she has an outbreak. We'll need to be careful not to pass it to me.. it feels as if I'm going to be punished for her mistake for the rest of my life and it will always be a reminder. 

D day was 12/28/2017