How long were you married? Is there any kids involved, adult or otherwise?
Sorry your goin through this, I'm 50 and my wife left a year ago. Seems to be a common scenario. Take care

Sorry brother, at this point you need to move forward in your life. Try to be happy and healthy. It will be your best revenge because their marriage will fail.

98% of all these marriages do fail because they start out as a lie and neither will be able to trust each other.

If you are happy and healthy then she will see what she gave up.

Move forward each day an it will get better in time.

I think this mirrors the compartmentalization that happens during the A. They come up with a list of exaggerated faults to convince themselves that they are justified and still a good person. (Mine said that I used the microwave too much when preparing meals - lol)

I'm sorry you're going through this and it totally sucks that it ended this way. Take some time and be good to yourself - maybe even individual counseling to help you reframe what happened. You need to figure out a way to not feel like the victim in all of this - not easy under the circumstances!

You are thinking about what you lost and not what you gained.

You gained freedom from a lying, cheating, diseased woman who was
unworthy of you. I'd be celebrating.

You need some positive things to focus on and rebuild your self-esteem.

Get a new haircut, buy some new clothes, and since people are attracted to happy people, slap a smile on your face and get out into the world.

There are plenty of 50 year old women out there who would love to meet a nice guy. Start with your friends and get the word out!!

It's hard not to indulge in a pity party. All of us BSs have been there.
Step off the Pain Train and reclaim your life. There are wonderful opportunities out there, you just have to go looking!

The bad stuff is behind you and remember, you cannot go forward if you are looking backward.

Good luck!

Sorry you had to go through so much---things like this are so hard, and it seems that a lot of good people are victims of cheaters.

I liked StormPetrel's suggestion about putting some positive things in your life. I believe that is important. It is good not to date with the intention of getting involved quickly on the heels of such trauma. Often that causes one to selection the wrong partner (again).

To help you feel less lost, I would suggest if you are in an area where there are meetup groups (you can find them online) that you find one that interest you and get involved. There are meetup groups for people with all kinds of interests/hobbies. I am involved in a photography group, and it is a lot of fun and I also am learning a lot and have made a few new friends. There are groups for all sorts of hobbies. These are not dating groups, they are special interest groups.

Just an idea. I wish you peace and healing.

I'm sorry for your situation, mine is very similar, so I can imagine how you feel.

Starting over sucks
It is better than going to your grave being deceived and manipulated

In that light, starting over is preferred

Hey Everyone so why is Fredie on this site??

I'm sorry too for your pain. Know that unfortunately you are not alone, all of us here are or have experienced what you are going through.

I'm in the midst of my pain and probably will be for awhile till we sort things out for good.

I suggest you keep moving forward. Find who you are and what makes you YOU! Some day you will find someone who likes YOU!

Thanks to everyone who replied. You have helped me with your kind words and explained me things that I need to focus on.

Dating has been slow. I rather not have a list of very nice ladies that I am dating. I would like to be a one person for dating.

I rather not HURT anyone and that is slowing down my dating process.

God Bless

Hey isn't 50's the new 40's!!! I would like to think so. The great thing is you have a little more freedom, that is if your children are grown up, like mine. Have fun and get out!!!!

If you want to go to the trouble, during divorce have your lawyer bring up the theft of marital assets.

If you live in a community property state she will have to give back half of that.

Please consult with a lawyer and file for divorce.

If the divoece was final, then gte a lawyer to crack it open again for fraudulent misuse of comminuty propety or some such thing.

I could have written that. I am a female 52, he went to work one day and called he wasn't coming back. No STD though. Starting over in a world of game players etc etc is so hard. I am just not up to this anymore. I want someone who has finally grown up!

Good point on getting out. My youngest is 22. Just feel a little trapped in the old dating game. Rather not hurt anyone.

I would be upfront with the women you date. Let them know where you are at in life, so they don't have any expectations. You're looking for friends and that's good. Hopefully this will help with the not wanting to hurt anyone. You also have to ask yourself the question, are you really ready to date, if you're worried about hurting someone. It's going to be weird and feels like you're back in high school, but it can be fun too. Take it at your pace.