We take what we can when we can. We love so much it hurts. But do we love enough? I ignored the signs of my Husband's infidelity for years because I didn't want to deal w/ the problems. I didn't want to own some stuff about myself that needed to change because it was too much work. I became lazy. I stopped caring enough to listen or worry about his needs because it was hard enough for me to worry about my own. I never wanted sex & if we even got to that point I wanted it to end before it began. But I still loved him.

I thought he'd never stray. I thought he'd want me
even though I stopped caring how I looked. I gained 40 lbs, stopped wearing make up & doing my hair when we'd go out. I wore baggy clothes & bitched about everything under the sun. NOTHING was ever good enough. He'd have dinner waiting when I came home but it wasn't what I wanted to eat. He'd do the laundry, fold up the clothes & put them away but he didn't fold them right or he put them in the wrong place. He'd ask me over & over again, "Where's the passion we once had or why don't we hold hands anymore?" I never listened. He would sleep on the couch but I'd never ask him why. But I still loved him.

I took him back because I never stopped loving him. I forgave him because he wasn't the only one at fault. Yes it hurt like hell but I had to identify w/ why it happened in the first place. He really thought I didn't love him when he got his needs met w/ her. He tells me now that he knows I love him or I never would have taken him back. It still hurts sometimes but I hurt him too.I had to become accountable for my actions or the lack thereof & become willing to change so he could change.