Trust is a hard thing to get back and if you can't trust him the relationship will suffer. It sounds like the two if you need counseling. I would tell him that if he wants to be with you that you have the right to look at his phone at any time of day you want. The truth is if he has not reached a spot in his life where he is ready to stop cheating then he won't stop. You are being paranoid for good reasons. Affairs hurt everyone involved.

Sassy is right. Start making plans for a life without him. He is making the wrong choices and it looks like he is unwilling to change.

The gas lighting is what drives us crazy. Sounds like he isn't being honest. To stay or go is your choice, I'm grappling with the same question now and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I think the question for me is am I willing to swap the discomfort of staying and keeping my 15 year relationship or do I go and face the uncertainty of a life alone. Hardest thing ever. Sending you hugs.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. If you suspect that he's still contacting women, and he is, then you are headed for yet another D day. If he is deleting everything, you can be sure he doesn't want you to read them for obvious reasons. What more proof do you need? You're only fooling yourself if you think you need more proof. Your gut is telling you what your head doesn't know yet. If he isn't home with the family, or at work, chances are he's indulging, and there are many ways to catch them in the act by using a voice activated recorder in his car, or a key logger on his computer.

You have taken him back out of fear, and you are now living in fear, and that's no place to be. Not only will it kill your spirit but your children will sense it and suffer for it. What they see is you allowing Daddy to be a cheater, and that's what they'll carry into adulthood, so be careful, because it damages children more so than divorce.

I wish you well.

I know that my gut is always right, but because of all of this I don't know if im just thinking it cause the trust is so little. He leaves his phone open but when ever I go I There it's he same. To me that is weird, he said I can look when ever I want. We are going to start cousling after my sugury and I guess that's why I had him come back too, with my medical problems it's hard taking care of 4 kids. I just need to figure out what I want and it's just so hard when you have been with someone so long. It dosent help that I have no reason behind it besides she started it, there was no...we where fighting to much or any really reason and that just makes me thing that if anytime someone makes a move to him he will take it. He has shown remorse but im still so hurt. I thank you guys for your advice, if you would like to share your stories im here to listen.

Imput from the other side. I doubt he done anything impressive wherever he been. A lot of men wonder around to improve own selfesteem and position in eyes of other men. It is necessary to take into attention male struggle with themselve and need to wonder around just to wonder around. In a lot of cases it is hard to understand why man attempted to cheat in general because physical part is last thing they need. Brain games and improvement of selfesteem is main goal most of the time. Some people are just communicative in general.

I have never given him a reason to feel insucure! If that is a reason for you then you should work on yourself before getting into a relationship to begin with. If being insure is a reason to cheat then there is no point for anyone to be together. I have insucurty for sure but im not out looking for anyone to make that better. Im sorry but that is just not a reason to ruin a whole family.