I'm a Newbie on here. My wife of 7 years and best friend for more than 12 admitted to me about 6 months ago that she cheated on me. She says the affair happened around this time last year. After she said she was only with him once, but recently she admitted that she was with him several times (3 times by her account). I asked for the details and she grudgingly gave them to me. I needed to know the truth, but now that I know the truth I am even more devastated then when she first told me. When I came to her to tell her that I wanted to fix our marriage and make things better she decided to come clean in order for us to get a fresh start. She says that she never meant to hurt me and that she thought our marriage was over because it had been on a decline for years. I never thought she would go this far with someone else, I always believed that we would come to each other first. Since finding out, I have decided to forgive her but I can't get over the feeling that I am in competition with the OM because they were able to do things and share things that we never have. I am haunted daily with these thoughts and my confidence and self-esteem have been shattered and I have no idea how to get back to being confident man I once was. I want to stay with her but she has admitted that my lack of confidence is affecting our relationship. I am not weak by any means, and since finding out I have undergone gastric bypass surgery and have lost almost 70 pounds since October. I get compliments daily on my improved looks but I still feel like a fool for staying with her. Yes, I opted for the surgery partially because of what happened but also for my health and for our 3 year old son who needs me around to watch him grow up. She has even suggested that I might try being with another woman if I think it will help bring the old me back. Everyday I seriously consider leaving and everyday I tell myself that I need to stay. I need help moving forward, my heart is destroyed and I have never dealt with anything like this before....any suggestions?
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