Well, if you just put up with it will you be happy? Doesn't sound like it.

I am a big proponent that our living space must be in harmony with us. It should be a retreat. Hence my house that is currently dominated by the chaos of toddlers and toddler toys sometimes drives me batty.

You live there so it needs to be your house too. Maybe you can compromise. I let my H decide on the layout of the basement and kids rooms in return for me getting the final say on kitchen. I mean I use the kitchen the most so I needed things arranged in a way that made sense to me.

We decided on the living room together.

Sorry but it sounds like you are very sensitive. Maybe it's her parents that make you irritable. Women usually want to decorate their own house. I do think that you need to talk with her and tell her that you would like some input into some things. You just have to decide what's more important to you. Is decorating the house really the problem or is she taking control of every little thing without speaking to you? I am a firm believer that parents of grown children should not interfere with things like that but if she is close with her Mother and has asked for her Mother's input then the Mother is just doing what was asked of her. I'll bet your wife doesn't even know that your feelings are hurt. It sounds like she is just excited about moving into a house and decorating it.
I don't mean to sound insensitive to your feelings. It sounds like you just want to be heard. Try talking to her in a positive way and I'll bet you'll get the answers you want. All the men in my life, including my grown children don't give a crap how the house is decorated except their man space. Give and take..............................

My H usually doesn't care about things in the house, but when he expresses feelings regarding something that makes him unhappy or he wants to help choose new things I am ok with that. It is his home also and he does have a right to feel comfortable there as do you. If she just overrides you and never accepts your input, she's being disrespectful. She should know how hurtful this is to you and she should care.

Hey Distance, sounds to me like these parents were stepping over the line a bit. You have every right to say something.

Are they gone?

Put the furniture where YOU and your wife want it.

Any 'suggestions' from them in the future, just say, 'hey, thanks for the idea, but I'm not sure what we'll be doing with that yet. We'll let you know when we decide, probably after we have lived here in our home for a bit...' (be vague. Be indecisive as hell. Shrug shoulders a lot!)

It's your home. Period.

L~

L- Unfortunatly thye are here until the weekend. They are from 5 hours north. What makes it harder is her dad stays with us a couple weeks a month being he is retired and helps take care of our son to lower our day care costs.
Grandcten - yes i know i am sensitive, that is part of my nature. And i believe i have ever right to be. This is just as much my house as it is hers (really more if you consider that the house is only in my name and i pay the mortgage). My point though is this si supposed to be our house. We should be doing the decessions together not her and her parents.
I unlike some guys want to have my opinion heard on where pictures go, furniture goes and the like. After all i am the one doing all the cleaning and chores arround the house.
I want to live in a house that i find appealing, not something that was decided for me.

When ever I read your posts they make me feel like your kindness has been taken as adventage by your W. Maybe you are one of those people who like to listen other people opinion and then expect that they would do the same for you. But they don't. .. then you get irritated because they "walk ove"r you.

I think that your expectations are reasonable. Ofcourse you should have a say how you want things around in house. It is your home. Actually you should be asked..because it is your house.

If you do not say a thing, people can missunderstand you and think that you do not actually care that much. Also, in the other post you had mentioned how your wife won't always come home the times she says and so on..To me that seems ignorant and kind of selfish behavior from her part. I think it is about the the time to claim your rights, rather that wait that some one who is insensitive (on purpose or not) would suddenly change and start being sensitive to your needs. It seems like the respect that you deserve is lacking in this relationship..