I would tell you to take time,
Also i would sit down and talk to him daily if you want, limit the time if it is heated to just a few minutes.
Be as honest as you can be, at first telling the truth hurts.
Once you get use to telling the truth to yourself, and then to him, and then to God, you will be happier and living a stronger life.
He needs to know what you need, and you need to be honest with yourself with what you need.

Thank you you're right as soon as I get the burden off of me and talk I feel much better! I just don't know if sex should be taken off our list til we reconnect or will that make things worse!

My wife had an affair. In my opinion the mental connection they had felt worse than the sex. It should be a sacred thing between spouses however most people have a past life (before marriage) with others which we have to deal with as partners. As mentioned above talk properly and honestly and reconnect. I have reconnected mentally with my wife and know there is no comparison when both physically and mentally connected. I also reassure myself they had a fake relationship - only showed each other what they wanted. No bad bits so they did not really connect. Whatever happened you are a good person and don’t forget it. Be proud of yourself and love yourself. If they wish to reconnect then it it is for them to be honest and earn your love and trust again. Be strong.

Thank you! That's true they didn't have a mental connect it was just a filler he would say. So disappointing though! What are some other methods you use to stop yourself from even thinking the other person?

Hi Free,

Hon, you are never going to get over thinking the other person. I am so sorry that this has happened between your husband and this other person. And what it does to the mind is receiving increasing attention and interest on a constant and ongoing level. Your mind is trying to find balance among the pain and injury of your heart.

I watched my mother and sisters go through a myriad of emotions while trying to process their pain and this was without seeking professional counseling. And consultation with a marriage/relationship/family therapist is the only comprehensive approach to outline the issues that remain to be addressed in this fledgling situation - there is just not enough experience in either of you to get through without the proper help.

I send you many hugs of comfort today. I hope for each of you to move forward with a clear sense of the status of consultation as an option to this matter. In part, how you pursue the future of your marriage is based on getting a clear overview of why your husband was not content with the stance of what you shared as a couple.

Thank you so much remiah we're doing the best we can with all this quarantine til we can see our counselor!