I had this trouble. Although my husband slept with someone else so I have those images whirling round in my head none stop. The first time we had sex after I found out, I just cried. Then after a few days I realised I wanted sex. I wanted to feel wanted. So I hate fucked him. Did the deed and sent him on his merry way.

He was more adventurous during his affair and something should have twigged then but it didn't. I now have sex with him on my terms for now. Its hard to get those thoughts out of your head so I would suggest only do it when YOU want to and feel comfortable. Tell him how you feel. Ask for reassurance because in the end that's what you need.

Hysterical bonding is a thing that happens to many after you find out about an affair. This phase too passes. Its best IMHO to spend some time working on yourselves before jumping back into the bedroom. Its really hard for me to tune out those mind movies even after a lot of time has passed. And it safest practice is, no sex until both of you are tested and clear of STDs. Even if its *only* an emotional affair...because cheaters lie.

Cheaters do lie! Hysterical bonding is something that the BS often experiences. Maybe he is afraid to lose you and doesn't know how else to show it. I know it sounds cavemanish. There are books you can read to understand how to meet each other's needs.
His needs her needs by Dr Willard Harley
The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman
His Brain Her Brain by Walt Larimore
This helped me figure out my H tried showing love the way he wants to be shown love.. This helped both of us.

Hysterical bonding is a useful mechanism to keep you together for the initial period after discovery. Just remember that it is just survival mechanism that will fade and disappear soon enough. You need to make sure you have some sort of real foundation by the time the hysterical bonding ends.

Sex can definitely be really different after finding out. It sure can be much better suddenly. I don't think he's thinking of her. Cheaters are not like that usually because he simply wasn't thinking of you when he was with her either. So I do think it's sincere. However you ckearly and understandably have visions worries and questions. You need to talk to him about that otherwise it's going to break you. I too had extremely good sex since I found out my boyfriend cheated. But during talk times I did discuss my visions and worries and I told him to make sure we never do any position he did with them. So talk that's the only way to try to get reconnected. Wish you the best

I'm going through this right now. I found out my husband cheated a week after he did it, he had a 2 week affair they met online and saw each other 2 times during that period(he says they used condoms but you know that may be a lie) He has been tested for stds, as have I and for now we are using condoms. After I found out at first I didn't want him to touch me, I didn't want him near me and I didn't want him to kiss me. He asked me one night after he had been sleeping on the floor of he could lay in bed with me and I agreed because hoesnlty I had cried to much and I needed to be held. I needed closeness I needed something. He held me I cried, we talked he rubbed my back and finally I just told him I need you to show me you love, I need you to make love to me. He asked me if I was sure that's what I wanted and that he also wanted that. I told him yes, I enjoyed it it was great intense with tons of passion. I didn't think about him with her during it. Afterwards I wondering what wa seeing with me so I did research and found out about hysterical bonding. We now have sex 3-4 times a day, this discovery is still so new. I'm trying to figure him, in trying to move past this. He says he knows telling me he loves me isn't enough and that he wants to spend everyday doing whatever he can to show me. Idk what will happen in the long run and I know eventually we won't have sex as much but for right now it's what I need for me. It's one of the only times I don't hurt or feel the pain. It's one of the only times I don't think about him with her and I just focus completely on us. I feel like everyone who has never been through it will tell you to wait but as long as you both want it and have been tested for stds I think you need to do what you feel in your heart. This is your journey.

I remember those times being a much needed break between horrible lows. I suppose as you heal and become stronger you don't need it as much and it fades.