This is a rewrite After reading other peoples stories I realize I didn't even talk about what I am going through.

I wanna apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes  I'm using speech to text I tried to get them all if I didn't I'm sorry LOL

My wife and I have been married and together for 10 years. She started working and within hours had an affair with a coworker that lasted for months my wife and I have been married and together for 10 years. She started working and within hours had an affair with a coworker that lasted for months . I had my suspicions within those four months she was acting different more confident pay less attention to me I had my suspicions within those four months she was acting different more confident pay less attention to me. I completely ignored my intuition because we were married who has an affair when they're married. It wasn't until my birthday when I "felt" a difference I put a GPS on her phone and when she got back from work I checked it and that's how I found out

she lied of course then told me she did have an affair with him once but continue to see him as a friend. 

she kept out like going for weeks when asked why did you have an affair 99.1% was my fault everything she said was my fault she brought up things that I've done within a year of being together. 
at the time it devastated at the time I felt worthless and I believed her 

for months She let me continue to believe that and continued to lie about how frequently she went over there and the nature of their relationship. 

I would lay in our bed and cry for 3-4 hours every single day since the day I found out. Crying to her that I was sorry all she did was roll over and go to sleep. This continues for even more months. I used to beg and plead to her to tell me the truth. She Continued to lie. 

After more months of me crying asking her for help/remorse /love she told me there's nothing she can do about it I have to get over it myself That was my first suicide attempt I told her I was doing it she said do what you wanna do. 
Then she started to get attitudes  with me crying all the time an begging her to tell me the truth  she said I was obsessed with it she taid I liked it. 

that devastated me that was my second suicide attempt and of course the same reaction she didn't care.

my sadness turned to anger then so I started arguing with her yelling at her 

months go by and she finally tells me the truth. The guy she had an affair with is 100% basically and mentally different from me he was a lot taller a lot taller and extremely well endowed

This destroyed my ego an destroyed everything i've ever believed in my biggest fear since I was a kid has came true. 

months go by I started working out and eating better lost 150 pounds helping out around the house and within that Journey I rediscovered myself I remembered Who I was I remembered I am a very handsome man and I remember I am a very considerate man.

now we're in November 2020  I start yoga and meditating and discovering a lot of triggers that I've had throughout my entire life. I have not been angry since November of last year I have not had an anxiety attack since November of last year. Or even cry. i've learned to separate my thoughts with my emotions. 

When 2021 started I started to remember the cold hearted remorseless person I've chose to be with. I started to feel really stupid for trying to work it out with someone who has said and done those things to me

During this entire journey none of my or family members cared to helped me. we did go to therapy and during therapy she was still lying to the therapist(found out later when she finally confessed) 

fast forward till now ending my life doesn't even cross my mind taking my own life does not cross my mind at all and I will not do that.

I have moved out over the last two years countless times she always her word play to get me to come back. I just came back last week nothing is different nothing has changed on her and she still continues to blame me. I now know that it is not my fault it was never my fault. I do not want my kids to be raised by an non-emotional Mother. 

throughout all of this not only did I become very self-aware I was not alone my three kids was always there with me I was too hurt before  to see that. 
The beginning of this year I realize my kids was there for me that's when I started thinking she had to go. I just believe children need their mothers. So I never gave it any really thought

As a father to two girls I can see that they will be raised in a spitting image of their mother and I have to stop that she refuses to get help she refuses to acknowledge her Way is wrong and she is wrong I do not want my daughters to always believe they cannot make mistakes they can never be wrong and do this to another father's son I do not want my daughters to always believe they cannot make mistakes they can never be wrong and do this to another families Son. 
I have tried to get my wife to meditate with me work out with me it's never happened.

as of yesterday I've came up with a plan 

Currently the wife and kids are at their in-laws she will be dropping the kids off later today and she's going back to her mothers and coming back Monday 

by Monday I want to change all the locks in the house. And tell her she has no longer part of this Richardson family that I've built. I've been the sole provider for this family the longest my wife has held a job was when she worked with the guy she was having an affair with 4 months. 
Physically there is nothing wrong with her she just doesn't wanna work (lazy and spoiled) 

when I was an emotional hell for the last few years we lost everything she refused to get a job we lost both of our cars and a lot more. Any job I got a loss because of PTSD never work more than a week.

I have financially got my family's bank account back up alone I am doing good great. And still to this day get lied to and disrespected and believe it or not she still blames me for the affair the other week she said I deserved it it didn't bother me but it did hurt that she believes that feels that way I've come to the conclusion that my wife has never love me and she never will And still to this day get lied to and disrespected and believe it or not she still blames me for the affair the other week she said I deserved it it didn't bother me but it did hurt that she believes that and feels that way I've come to the conclusion that my wife has never love me and she never will 

ever since I stopped her affair she treats me like I took away her best friend like I had to return a little girls puppy back to the vet. Within the last few weeks I started to feel anger building up inside of me

because of the disrespect I am receiving.

so by the time she comes here Monday I will have all the locks changed I've already contacted the police department and they and informed me by law since we are married they will not forcefully take the kids out of the house she would have to get a lawyer. 

although My Wife has put me through hell I feel really bad for wanting to do this I have a heart

I would like advice should I do this are there any other solutions maybe I haven't came up with but someone has