Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My husband would emotionally cheat through online sex videos with other woman while we were dating be on dating sites etc.. I was stupid and in love with him forgave and decided to marry him anyways and that everything would change. 2 months after being married he starts a affair with some woman who is 20 years older. I worked to get him through College. So while I was at work they would have sex in my bed and our car when he was at school. She would go to my daughter's school and everything. This went on for 2 years before I saw his email account open and read everything. The were engaged and wanted to start a family?? I started divorce papers immediately and kicked him out. Then I took him back. We had 3 young daughters and they loved and missed him being around and so on. He dropped her like nothing when she showed up at his work and I've been checking his emails and going through all his devices regularly.So anyways we agreed to work on this. However I don't feel myself getting better. I feel stupid and assume I must have low self esteem to keep taking him back. When I confronted the other woman all she asked was to go out for drinks with her while he watched our kids. And still went to his work and thought he had picked her. I sometimes wonder after he dropped her what she went through. I know he is the moron and the problem but human nature makes me wonder if she moved on like nothing or if she felt any remourse or felt like a idiot. Also I wake up everyday waiting for him to do something again. I don't treat him horribly .. just preparing myself and questioning everything. It was the end of Sept last year I found out and I keep quietly packing my bag to leave and I can't. But at the same time living this way has made me depressed. I don't go anywhere and I'm consumed with him doing something again. He doesn't like to talk about it anymore. He gave me 2-3 weeks and told me it's time to move on. I vent he listens and that's it. Do any of you have any insight ?
If he has given you 2-3 weeks to 'get over it', he will most probably do this again, especially with his history. He sounds extremely self entitled and arrogant - bringing his OW to the kids school, really?? Bringing her into your bed? Even my OM wasn't that obnoxious.This is someone who has no respect for you whatsoever.
If you are staying for your daughters you are only teaching them that its ok for a man to treat his wife like this and they should always forgive no matter how bad someone treats them in a relationship.
In order for this to work.......you both need therapy. You, to get beyond the betrayal. Him, to learn why he does what he does. Both of you, to learn how to build your marriage.
What is she thinking? Is she remorseful? I would doubt it. If their relationship went on for two full years and they were that ballsy and that connected, she is mourning that relationship. She was just as manipulated by him as you are.
If you ask me, she is the real winner in this case.
I'm sorry you are experiencing someone like him in your life. You and your children deserve more. Take back control.
Find a therapist for yourself. Do it today.
I'm sorry to read of your story, but you have enabled him all these years by letting him sweep things under the rug. He won't ever stop doing what he's doing.
Your first step should be to seek individual therapy, for yourself without him knowing, to discover why you would allow this to happen to you. Once you can figure it out, you'll have an arsenal of willpower to leave him because you will realize that what you have for him isn't love, not in the least, it's fear. He is a serial cheater, and it would take him years of rehabilitation to overcome it. There is nothing you can do or say to make him stop.
It's time to stop thinking about him, and what he's going to do next, because you already know, so be true to yourself. If you're depressed, it's time to start caring for yourself and leave the twit to his own devices.
Wishing you well.