I don't know if it's inappropriate on the part of your H , so much as it's misguided and pretty sad. My therapist is great, but I'm pretty sure she's well compensated for her efforts.

I think it would be inappropriate for the therapist to accept the gift. Did the therapist accept it?

It reminds me of the episode of the Sopranos where Tony tried to tip his therapist in cash and she wouldn't accept it.

If the therapist accepted it, I think that's wrong. JMO.

And not sure if it was wrong on his part to give it or not, but its kind of suspicious. I sent my MC a thank you letter for her efforts. That was it.

Oh, she not only accepted, she thanked him again the next time she saw him and told him how much she (AND HER HUSBAND) enjoyed it. (Are we paying for them to have conversations about their favorite wine varites?)

Just feels "snarky" IMHO....

Maybe I should bring a little thank you gift to my OBGY for HIS tender patient care... maybe a fine cigar...would that cross the line?

LOL, I think you should.

Yea, that doesn't sound right. Keep it work-related and professional. There are probably even rules/guidelines for reporting any gifts or compensation received. I know that in many of the jobs I worked, we could only receive something in value of up to $25 and if we did, we had to report it and offer up for a "raffle"

D, I love the cigar to your OBGY... that's so appropriate in todays f'd up world.

I think it's over the top for him to bring his T a bottle of wine. But she may file it away and add it to her assessment of his personality and what motivated him to do that.

I also agree that she shouldn't have accepted it but again, maybe she wants to see how the gift giving/ receiving will play out in his mind...

I think it's totally inappropiate on both their parts, he for giving it and she for accepting it. But then again I also think it's inappropiate for him to be buying lunch for female coworkers and bringing them coffee! I've seen innocent acts like that be misconstrued and before you know it, something else is going on!!!!! Maybe that's why you're here in the first place! He needs to understand that he doesn't have to be friends with the whole world and that places of employment and professional settings like the therapist should be just that, professional relationships, nothing more, not flowers, no wine, no lunches, strictly professional. You don't have to be friends with everybody in your life, most of them are just acquintances out of necessity such as your employment or someother means, but that doesn't mean they have to be your bestfriend, which is what your H seems to think, when it comes females at least. Hmmm suspicious, for sure.

Um....if he didn't talk to you about it before he did it, then he wasn't crossing the line...he was erasing it.

Wine gifts, lunches, coffee....what's up with this guy that he feels he has to do this?

Yeah, it crosses the line...but I do like the cigar idea. Hilarious...

Tell him that she is paid for her help, just like DAB said. I just don't think this is professional at all.

L~

"Maybe I should bring a little thank you gift to my OBGY for HIS tender patient care... maybe a fine cigar...would that cross the line? "

Eeeewww - That's a bit "Clinton-esque," don't you think?

I think their are some men who are always "hunting" for attention from OW. What he does beyond making all women in his office think he is "such a great guy" is anyones guess. I will say this, my H is the same way, of course he doesn't work in office, can't afford wine, so he meets and impressises the women in the gas station he regularly uses.
And buys them beer! Your H just wine-ing and dining better class of losers!

Just maybe what she is trying to do is humiliate his advances by telling him that she enjoyed it with her husband. She has to know what he is doing. Yes, it's crossing the line. Maybe you should write her a note and tell her what you think he is doing and maybe she needs to counsel more wisely. This guy sounds like a real schoomzer.

SHE TOOK IT?

I would be filing a complaint with the state board right away...

So he's "buying" her advice to be in his favor, and by her taking the wine she is agreeing!

REPORT HER!!! now

She absolutely should not have accepted it. But she should have processed with him what he hoped to get out of it. Was it a "please like me" kind of bribe? And what's underneath that? Was it a sort of power thing, rendering her a little in his debt?? Lots of interesting things might have come up.

Hello Dellenr
Having been a therapist, it is totally unacceptable to accept any gift whatsoever from one's client, it is unethical. She should have recognised immediately that he was coming on to her, after all she has been trained to spot these things and any professional would have done so.
Unfortunately I have to say some therapists are in the business for status and material gain only but I do hope that they are few and far between.
Affable

I agree with the rest; your H should have never given the gift, nor should she have accepted it.

After all you have already been through, that was extremely insensitive on his part and unethical on hers.

(((HUGS)))
FG7