Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
As I was getting my nails done today, the nail tech asked me if I was married, and I instantly responded no. I didnt even think about the question, until I had already answered it.
I immediately felt guilty.
Admittedly nothing about my appearance would tell anyone I was married. I wore no wedding ring, and I was alone, like usual. It was the first time in my marriage, that I ever said I wasnt married, and it wasnt even intentional. I cant help but wonder how many times in our marriage he said he wasn't married. Has being married to me been shameful for him the entire time? Something that he wanted to hide, something he was ashamed of admitting?
I still feel guilty about responding no today. that's just me.
Throughout this whole process, so many people told me- when you're done, you will know. I kept thinking they were wrong, that my heart would never really be able to tell me when I was done, it was just something time would reveal the answer and the path to take, because I never even imagined life differently. Perhaps this is that moment, that I realize I'm done. The moment someone asks me if I was married, a question that used to bring me so much joy to answer as I would smile and remember so many amazing things about us, but now- its a painful question, answered with a hasty no, not even a second thought. Even though truthfully,at least on paper, I am married. Perhaps thats how he felt about it all this time, a painful question with a hasty denial.
I immediately felt guilty.
Admittedly nothing about my appearance would tell anyone I was married. I wore no wedding ring, and I was alone, like usual. It was the first time in my marriage, that I ever said I wasnt married, and it wasnt even intentional. I cant help but wonder how many times in our marriage he said he wasn't married. Has being married to me been shameful for him the entire time? Something that he wanted to hide, something he was ashamed of admitting?
I still feel guilty about responding no today. that's just me.
Throughout this whole process, so many people told me- when you're done, you will know. I kept thinking they were wrong, that my heart would never really be able to tell me when I was done, it was just something time would reveal the answer and the path to take, because I never even imagined life differently. Perhaps this is that moment, that I realize I'm done. The moment someone asks me if I was married, a question that used to bring me so much joy to answer as I would smile and remember so many amazing things about us, but now- its a painful question, answered with a hasty no, not even a second thought. Even though truthfully,at least on paper, I am married. Perhaps thats how he felt about it all this time, a painful question with a hasty denial.
You feel guilty for saying no but it is your heart that spoke with no thinking involved and I agree with george..it is easier to say no instead of feeling like you have to explain your situation to others. This person who asked you is not a personal friend or family member so your guard was down and you just answered. Does this mean your done with your H?? maybe and maybe not. Only you know that answer and I do believe you will just wake up and make that decision with no hesitation or guilt feelings.
I can feel the emotional detachment from him - I'm still sad, miss what we had, am angry, etc. But as those feelings come on, I realize this isn't the same husband I married, and I remember our marriage is over. And then I feel better - to me, that's a sign that I know the divorce is the right decision.
I hope that you continue to grow and see light through this tunnel. You didn't deny you spoke the truth. Your H has not treated you like you were married for a long time. Your heart and mind are beginning to catch up with that.
Regardless I am opening my eyes to new possibilities, new horizons and new opportunities that I would have overlooked before.
I am looking into Nursing school part time at night, while still working full time... and I even applied for a new job that would require me to train outside of our area, three hours away, for eight hours- but it would use my degree.
I don't ever want to be in the position that I feel locked down in a place because of debts or my career only being for me in one single place. I am working on building a future for myself where I can pick and go when I want, but also find value in myself through how I give back to others and through my career, and to get a fresh start at a new job that is less stressful, is something that I think would be a complete game changer for me.
Wow, sorry for blabbing way off topic... but I'm just really focusing on me right now... and doing a lot of self reflection and soul searching and learning to love being alone...