I'm new, but I need help. I'm a 43 yrs old woman, married 19 years. I did the most awful thing, I had an affair for almost a year. This other man is not good for me. He is a freelance photographer. Which means he's always broke. He has me paying for everything. I've paid his deposit on this apartment, bought him clothes,furniture and have given him money for bills.  Being a photographer he's always around other women. He has told me, because I'm not with him all the time. He needs his girls to keep him company and for sex. I know he's only using me for my money. Just a month ago my husband found out about my affair. I was relieved he did, because this was going to be the end of this affair. I love my husband. He's a great man, treats me like a queen. This other man is mean to me, he doesn't treat me with respect. Now that my husband knows about my infidelity. We are trying to work on our marriage. I don't want to lose my husband. I've told this other man to leave me alone. That our affair is over, but he plays the victim part. Telling me I'm throwing him away. I don't care, because I want to save my marriage. I'm filled with guilt and remorse every day.  For letting a man who never cared for me almost ruined my marriage. I allowed him to do all those things to me, but I want to move away from feeling like crap. I want this other man to leave me alone.