Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I am driving myself crazy. There is not a day that passes that I do not think about the A H had. It is almost to the point of why am I continuing being in this marriage. H is in C and working on the marriage , but I just continue to have constant thoughts about the A, maybe because I didn't get the whole truth and had to part of the truth. I'm so bothered by this not sure what to do.
Right now, my H is applying for a FT position where I work. He's been working PT here with me for 2 years. I've been with this organization for 10 years this year. As much as I want and we need for my H to have FT pay and benefits--part of me is extremely frightened about him coming on FT. There's lots to take into consideration. Lots of time for something to "accidentally" happen.
This place that I work for is in my hometown-I've lived here my whole life, my family is here, and more than likely I will die here. My H is from a different state. He has family back home (brothers and sisters).
When my first H left (he cheated too) I didn't have a job, we had a small child (barely 1) and no real job skills. Somehow, I managed to land a job at this organization (a leading employer in this area). This was HUGE for me. It has been a blessing, a turning point, just A LOT for me. So--fast forward to where I am today. Total conflict. I don't know what is best. I know we need more money. I know H needs a FT job with benefits. I know that if he doesn't get this FT job we don't really have a plan. But at the same time I know we NEED all of these things and the JOB could eliminate stress for us---I'm scare because this is a GRAND part of my life (that I am willing to share with H)--if he is truly commented to putting the steps into safeguarding our marriage. I plan to retire from this organization (this has been my plan since day one) but part of me can't help but worry that 5, 10, 15, 20 years down the road is H gonna still be in it to win it??? What happens if he gets mad or starts to feel neglected?? What happens if he begins to justify an A as he did before??? Where does that leave me???
I know in life there are NO guarantees and there are a lot of leap of faiths that one must take, because that is just the way life works. I get that. But, this seems different and it's really got me thinking--deeply.
The organization that I work for is co-ed. Very much so and As are nothing new to this place. They have happened, will happen, and are happening right here all around me. Honestly, that scares the shit out of me. If H wanted or felt he needed some attention--he could get it in several different places. Its way more assessible here than it was at his old job where his A happened (it was a small company).
So--anyway, I don't know why I'm putting all this out here on you. It's obviously HEAVY in my thoughts and has been for a long, long time--and I've not discussed this with my H. I don't think you can with something like this. We've talked about parts of the story and he assures me that he is different and careful and from what I see he's being honest, but there's always a part of me that skeptical and wiery.
God speed to you, my friend.