To define it in the strictest terms, cheating is when a person inside a monogamous relationship has secret and intimate contact with someone outside the relationship, and such conduct violates the terms of exclusivity within the relationship. From here, it is up to the couple to decide what violates these terms. The fact that it begins with a secret is a red flag. People hide things to protect themselves from the consequences. This implies there are bad consequences to be had from these acts.

My take is that because the contact was with the OW and was done without your advance consent, it could rightfully be considered a transgression of some nature. Of course, the question of where his business ends and your business begins is a question for you two to answer, and it is not the same for every couple. The bottom line is that you need to be respected, and in a marital relationship that isn't open, respect cannot be had without being truthful about other relationships.

I guess you could say I was the OW. I met a guy a dating website and he is married. When I asked him why he was on the site he said to meet new people he likes hearing their stories. He said he met someone 18 months ago and they are good friends they just haven't seen each other in a year. He spoke sexually to me and even when we met only 1 time as soon as he said Hi he started kissing me and couldn't keep his hands off of me. Things happened and I ended up giving him a BJ. Since he has blocked my calls. I found out he is an Elder of his church. He has been married for 25 years and I was curious if this is his pattern. When I asked why he stays married and he said because he said he would take care of her and he will until she says otherwise.

I don't believe that ALL cheaters are destined to repeat it, but you just described a lot of red flags suggesting this guy is in fact a serial cheater. No way is he on a dating site to make friends and hear their stories. Protect yourself by cutting him out of your life.

not all cheaters will cheat again, the person you describe will

Then the question is only about what you think is best for yourself and all involved. You won't find the best life by mixing your fate with this guy.

Thank you

Sad to say but yes i do believe that!

Married men on dating websites are not looking for someone to talk to. And no, they don't just talk (stating the obvious here) they are trolling for sex. He's staying with his wife "appliance" so he can continue to have his cake and eat it too. They maintain the facade of normalcy while doing whatever they want. Image management. Meanwhile wife appliance keeps eating the shit sandwich and she probably doesn't even know it.