Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Since NY Eve I have made a promise to my self to stop tring so hard ans see if H can show me his 100 % into repairing this marraige.
I recently have spent all my time trying to figure out how we can repair what he broke , our vows as Husband and wife. H has told me that he would like to renew our vows and he has told me that he would like to seek out counseling for himself besides our couples counseling. I planned a wonderful new years eve just H and Myself out at a dinner and dancing and overnight package deal. I even bought him a nice watch that we were to start off a new time in our marriage( I don't really know what the watch represented)
Now, I am sitting back and watching how important this relationship is too H . He was upset that I told him that I am done with couples counseling until he starts to show his effort to put 100% into this marriage. Is this a bad thing to do??Am I helping or will this make things worse? Latley I am feeling numb and I can't sleep without thinking about the OW and my H.(This was a co-worker) H still works there. So every day he goes to work I'm always wondering if they still talk.
DDay was 8 months ago so , it still is too soon, Right?
I recently have spent all my time trying to figure out how we can repair what he broke , our vows as Husband and wife. H has told me that he would like to renew our vows and he has told me that he would like to seek out counseling for himself besides our couples counseling. I planned a wonderful new years eve just H and Myself out at a dinner and dancing and overnight package deal. I even bought him a nice watch that we were to start off a new time in our marriage( I don't really know what the watch represented)
Now, I am sitting back and watching how important this relationship is too H . He was upset that I told him that I am done with couples counseling until he starts to show his effort to put 100% into this marriage. Is this a bad thing to do??Am I helping or will this make things worse? Latley I am feeling numb and I can't sleep without thinking about the OW and my H.(This was a co-worker) H still works there. So every day he goes to work I'm always wondering if they still talk.
DDay was 8 months ago so , it still is too soon, Right?
Right now my H and I see a marriage counselor but we go at different times. Maybe you could do that and inform your counselor that you need your H to show more commitment to you and you need to see him really trying. I know I made demands of my H after I found out- he agreed to all of them but has followed through on all. If my H worked with his bitch, he would have to find another job because that would be something that I couldn't tolerate. That's just me though.
And yes, it is still early for you.
I am also on the 8th month of d-day. My H also sees the OW, co-worker daily. I also wonder if they talk. He haas sworn that they don't, and he did do a few nice things finally after about a month of discovery. OW & her H were supposedly friends of ours, but apparently he got more "friendly" with her, and yet swears it was "ONLY an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR". Yet, I don't buy it for one minute. It lasted 18 months, and probably would have until this day, had I not seen several text messages where he was complaining about me to her!
He complained that I offered to give his sister in the PHillipine Islands $2,000 to bury his Dad. Mind you, I never met either. He was complaining, cuz I hadn't cleared it with him, and he didn't want to have to pay me back that much money. Turns out he was only comfortable with paying me back $1,000. Needless to say, I've been a saver, and always anticipate some kind of emergency coming up, and I've always helped to bail him out, if it came to where he needed $5,000 for this car or that car!
So, if you want to email me privately that would be fine! I'm just curious, if your H ever came clean, with all details. Mine still swears that there was no sex, no kissing, just fantasizing.
But I do recall quite a few times where he put her first and was quite rude to me, but I wasn't aware of the affair at that time! Later, it all makes sense, doesn't it????
Now when stuff comes up, due to triggers, emotions, questions, etc.. it is invariably us who's bringing it up, not them, not ever!
But I told mine many times, that just because he did some things to make things right, there's more to it, and he needs to continue making it right. He needs to continue to address it without getting defensive, or iritated, or shut down! So, I've been thinking about going back to counseling , but he doesn't want to spend the money! Right now, I haven't pushed it, but I should.
Also I understand that these idiots were the ones who perpertrated the huge mess, and it is their job tofix it up! It shouldn't be on our shoulders and our responsibility. That just stinks. But since we're still with them, they think that the worst is over. Finding out was very devastating, but I think that it doesn't necessarily mean that the worst is over, cuz this does drag on for a while. Some women have said that it has dragged on for 3-5 years! Geesh, I sure don't want that! Oh well, I'm here for you, and hope that your situation improves.