I caught my husband texting another woman from the gym.  He immediately clicked off the message to hide it when I walked up but it was too late.   Our son was in the room so I said nothing.   Later that evening my husband was in the room alone and I was in another room where I could see him but his back was to me in the recliner.  I watched as he picked up his phone and I walked up behind him.   There he was texting her.  Her picture at the top with her contact was of her on the gym floor with her legs all sprawled out.  He either saw or heard me and clicked off quickly to hide it.  I asked who he was texting and he lied and said his brother.    I told him I saw and asked for his phone.   He wouldn't hand it to me right away. He told me it was nothing bad. They were just talking about working out.     He pulled up the last messages but held the phone away from me as he told me it was nothing bad.  I responded that he hid it and lied to me.  It was bad.   I said I didn't need to see because I already knew all I needed to know.    I walked away and he followed me.    Over the next several hours he tried to tell me it was just friendship.  He never had sex with her and they didn't sext each other.  He admitted they had been texting for about 6 weeks.  And he knew from the beginning I wouldn't be ok with it.  When I finally looked at their messages they did flirt.  Mild flirting.  But they were in constant communication.  They had shared more than 100 messages that day alone.  He would take 2 hours to respond to me but not 10 minutes to respond to her.   I later learned the sexy photo of her in her sports bra and booty shorts with her legs spread on the gym floor, he took.  He had changed his routine and was hanging out after the workout to talk for an hour to spend more time with her.   I also learned our early teenage son who worked out with him at the gym a few days a week was also suspicious of an inappropriate relationship because it was so obvious. The fact he was so selfish he couldn't contain himself around our son makes me sick.  

He admits he wanted to have sex with her.   He also says he never expected it would happen.  He said he liked the attention she was giving him so he continued it.  She is 24 years younger than he is and also married.  I'm sure it was quite flattering.   I am also positive he wouldn't admit to anything he wasn't caught red handed doing.   So i don't know if he had sex with her or not.   I feel like probably not yet.  But he wanted to. 

I'm so lost and hurt and confused.   He is saying all the right things about wanting to work on our marriage and to fix this.  I just don't know if I can get past the loss of trust.  He went to the restroom in public a couple days ago and took a long time and in my mind he was probably in there texting her again.     He and she both have iPhones.  Due to imessages there is no text history so I can't even check to see if they are in contact.     

Before all of this he became convinced I was having an affair because I lost weight and was looking better a couple years ago.  He spent 2 years accusing me every time I went anywhere with no evidence of anything.  I stopped going antiquing with friends because I didn't want to face accusations.  I stopped accepting invitations to hang out with girlfriends.  I was always open and told him he could check my phone any time.  I guess I should have been checking his.