Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I guess I just want to hear from people on this specific topic. I have truly always believed once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. I don't know if that is old fashioned or if I have a chance that I won't be cheated on. I am a recently out lesbian going on 26 years of age. I am currently dating a 48 year old woman which trust me has been one hell of a ride over the last seven months. I fell totally head over heals for her. She is technically the first woman I have ever been with.
At first our troubles were the age gap. She could not get past it. She just thought I was going through a phase and she was my experiment. It was not the case at all and she never shared those feelings with me. Instead she broke my heart and ended our relationship. We got back together, I have been worried ever since. My heart is on the line here and I don't want to feel that pain I felt ever again.
Now as we are getting more serious new issues have raised or raised a red flag I guess you could say. She has always been honest with me. Except she failed to mention the guy she was working with was the one bashing me and telling her constantly that I am too young for her. When we got back together in December she stopped working for him and confided this in me. She wanted a clean slate and all the truths on the table.
She is the one who said she loved me first. It scared her that she was falling in love with me and she just thought I was going to break her heart. She's got a very intense past and recently we have been talking about it. She's cheated on ALL of her ex's except for the last two (supposedly). She is also still friends with them all, except for the last woman she was with, they ended on bad terms. I appreciate she was honest with me and told me who she was. The woman she was with for 12 years she never cheated on but did get right into a relationship with the last woman she was with right away. They were together for four months but ended on bad terms.
Now I am in the picture. I mean I was so worried about her leaving me because of my age, when she knew I was 25 the whole time. It was no surprise. I guess she just figured it would be a good time and that would be it. I on the other hand did not feel like that. I totally fell for her. Now I find out she's cheated in majority of her relationships.
She says it is no excuse but she cheated because she was looking for something her lover was not giving her. That she then broke up with them and was heart broken but just couldn't be with them because it just was not working that's why she cheated. So now I just feel like I have new things to worry about.
I feel comfortable in the sense that she told me, and told me her past. She promised me she'd never cheat on me. We have a very good relationship. We talk about anything and everything. Some times it is a struggle to get her to open up but she always does eventually. I the same, open up to her and tell her exactly how I am feeling.
I am with her ALL the time, so I know other woman are not calling her phone. When people do call her she always made a point to show me who it was or make it so that I seen it (before she told me any of the cheating things). I do the same I tell her who it is when my phone rings or I get texts. I have nothing to hide, it's usually work, my best friend, my roommates, or my dad or whoever.
I do work though and she is currently unemployed. So I obviously cannot be with her ALL the time. I just feel a little uneasy since she told me all this. I did talk to her last night about it and she promised me she was changed. She hasn't cheated in 14 years. She stopped when she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with the woman she was with for 12 who totally devastated her. She has trust issues now and I do everything in my power to prove to her that I am not going to break her heart, that I love her more than I can even explain.
She says that no other woman has ever made her feel the way I do. That I am everything she has been looking for. She said it is so weird because you have not been with other woman and to me your perfect. I get upset when she says I'm perfect because I am far from it, she then says "you're perfect for me"
I just don't know why I am even questioning her now. I mean I really don't think she is that person anymore, but I have always said once a cheater always a cheater. I am younger so it's like I know I have not had many relationships, I certainly have never fallen in love until now. I honestly don't even know why I am thinking this. I guess I just would like to see what people may feel about this.
At first our troubles were the age gap. She could not get past it. She just thought I was going through a phase and she was my experiment. It was not the case at all and she never shared those feelings with me. Instead she broke my heart and ended our relationship. We got back together, I have been worried ever since. My heart is on the line here and I don't want to feel that pain I felt ever again.
Now as we are getting more serious new issues have raised or raised a red flag I guess you could say. She has always been honest with me. Except she failed to mention the guy she was working with was the one bashing me and telling her constantly that I am too young for her. When we got back together in December she stopped working for him and confided this in me. She wanted a clean slate and all the truths on the table.
She is the one who said she loved me first. It scared her that she was falling in love with me and she just thought I was going to break her heart. She's got a very intense past and recently we have been talking about it. She's cheated on ALL of her ex's except for the last two (supposedly). She is also still friends with them all, except for the last woman she was with, they ended on bad terms. I appreciate she was honest with me and told me who she was. The woman she was with for 12 years she never cheated on but did get right into a relationship with the last woman she was with right away. They were together for four months but ended on bad terms.
Now I am in the picture. I mean I was so worried about her leaving me because of my age, when she knew I was 25 the whole time. It was no surprise. I guess she just figured it would be a good time and that would be it. I on the other hand did not feel like that. I totally fell for her. Now I find out she's cheated in majority of her relationships.
She says it is no excuse but she cheated because she was looking for something her lover was not giving her. That she then broke up with them and was heart broken but just couldn't be with them because it just was not working that's why she cheated. So now I just feel like I have new things to worry about.
I feel comfortable in the sense that she told me, and told me her past. She promised me she'd never cheat on me. We have a very good relationship. We talk about anything and everything. Some times it is a struggle to get her to open up but she always does eventually. I the same, open up to her and tell her exactly how I am feeling.
I am with her ALL the time, so I know other woman are not calling her phone. When people do call her she always made a point to show me who it was or make it so that I seen it (before she told me any of the cheating things). I do the same I tell her who it is when my phone rings or I get texts. I have nothing to hide, it's usually work, my best friend, my roommates, or my dad or whoever.
I do work though and she is currently unemployed. So I obviously cannot be with her ALL the time. I just feel a little uneasy since she told me all this. I did talk to her last night about it and she promised me she was changed. She hasn't cheated in 14 years. She stopped when she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with the woman she was with for 12 who totally devastated her. She has trust issues now and I do everything in my power to prove to her that I am not going to break her heart, that I love her more than I can even explain.
She says that no other woman has ever made her feel the way I do. That I am everything she has been looking for. She said it is so weird because you have not been with other woman and to me your perfect. I get upset when she says I'm perfect because I am far from it, she then says "you're perfect for me"
I just don't know why I am even questioning her now. I mean I really don't think she is that person anymore, but I have always said once a cheater always a cheater. I am younger so it's like I know I have not had many relationships, I certainly have never fallen in love until now. I honestly don't even know why I am thinking this. I guess I just would like to see what people may feel about this.
I don't like her comment that " it just was not working that's why she cheated." Um, no. when things " just aren't working out," respectful people talk about those things and either go to counseling to seek help, or they break up. I feel like that comment may be a HUGE red flag. And I think your intuition may also be telling you the same thing.
Please take things slow. Good luck!
Sorry, can't be of more help.
But her line about no one ever made feel like you do is a big red flag.
She is blaming her cheating on her previous partners because they didn't make her feel.
That is bullshit. That is extremely self centered
It is the cheaters choice to cheat
What is going to happen when you don't make her feel
See the self sidedness
You have to make her feel
So it is all about her
Your role is to make her feel
People can change but her words seem to show that she has not