Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Allora 09/23/2011

I'm interested in what book(s) or other programs have helped you survive - and even thrive. (Particularly material that supports staying in the marriage, though anything would be appreciated.)

What are you/have you read and why was it beneficial to you?

Also: what didn't work/wasn't worthwhile and why?

deleted_user 09/24/2011

Allora,
Here is my list.

Transcending Post Infidelity Stress Disorder, P.I.S.D., Dennis Ortman
Not "Just Friends", Shirley Glass
After the Affair, Janis Abrams Spring, Michael Spring
How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair, Linda MacDonald
And (I just ordered this one, haven't read it yet) Hope and Healing After Infidelity, Gary Shiver, Wonda Shiver

All have been helpful, I ordered Not "Just Friends" for him, but I also read it.
I hope something from the list can help you. If you find something that does help please share it. I'm not sure my marriage is going to survive, but I haven't packed my bag yet so that's something.

deleted_user 09/24/2011

I haven't read except some excerpts of "Not Just Friends", yet it is highly discussed here and gets rave reviews!

KRKing911 09/24/2011

The Gift of Betrayal - how to heal your heart when your world explodes - Eve A. Wood MD.

He's history - your not!

Blindsidedagain 09/24/2011

Quiet Your Mind by John Selby

Gabrielle48 09/25/2011

His Needs Her Needs, Willard F Harley, Jr
This book revolutionized our marriage.

Allora 09/26/2011

I bought a Kindle version of "NOT Just Friends" and am finding it to be very insightful - so much so that I asked H to read it. He has tentatively agreed. He still believes that if we don't talk about it and if we don't think about it and we don't focus on it, then it'll all just go away. (Suuure..)

I have checked out the Marriage Builders website (author of His Needs, Her Needs) and listened to their podcast/radio program, and I can buy into the "Love Busters" and the basic needs stuff, but some things just don't quite fit. Still, good resources, so thank you to everyone for the suggestions.

I am going to see if the other suggestions are available through the library. Reading won't solve anything, I realize that, but it feels like a good start and it is something that has been helping to quiet things in my head a little. I know there's no making sense of something so horrid, but at least understanding parts of it have helped me tremendously.

Thanks all!

Allora 09/27/2011

I thought I'd add (in case anyone else ever stumbles upon this topic) - in the first weeks after DDay I found a book "Be Good to Yourself Therapy" by Cherry Hartman was invaluable. It is a very simple book, really almost a children's book, but it held some key things that kept my head above water and kept me nurturing myself when I otherwise might have given up.

Sometimes it's the little things.

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