Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

4,945 Members

18,074 Posts

1 Online

Lostheart1992 07/10/2018

2 years ago i found my husband of 2 years at the time and we had been together 6 years before the marriage anyway i found him talking to a girl he had taken her virginity when they was younger. I had to find the full messages of a 2 month affair they never slept together during the affair but they had sent numerous pictures talked about having a child apparently of which they had talked about for years he hid it from me even though i knew something was going on he says he is different we even moved to another county 40 miles away but i can't get over it. I am still so hurt and angry. I cannot trust him. I love him and i want us to be better but i don't know what to do. The messages tore me to pieces and still do everytime i close my eyes. How do we fix this or can we fox this? Please help.

calirn13 07/10/2018

So they were planning to run away together and have children?

You were married for 2 years... and that was 2 years ago?

calirn13 07/11/2018

Jess love who are you? You are full of crap! Stop trolling on our site

forwardmotion 07/11/2018

They were planning to have a kid and run away but he tells you they didn't have sex. That seems to be quite a stretch and perhaps why you haven't moved forward significantly after 2 years.

It doesn't look like the trust has been rebuilt.

I wonder if you have received full disclosure from your husband or if he has taken full responsibility.

I would suggest some personal counseling and marriage counseling if this hasn't been done yet. Living in a more rural area may make it harder to find a good therapist though.

Perhaps he hasn't taken the steps to help you heal or show that he has fundamentally changed as a person.

chel68 07/19/2018

I agree that you need a counselor. Talking through what you are feeling will help.

Lostheart1992 07/20/2018

Yes i know they didn't sleep together i have read through every message ever sent between the two of them and trust me i have read through more than once. With his work schedule and where we live it's hard to locate a counseling service we can attend as to why i was seeking some help on here.

calirn13 07/21/2018

What have you guys done to move forward?

Hrt2Hrt2018 07/28/2018

I'm sorry that you have had this experience in your marriage. If I am understanding this correctly it has been 2 years and you have not been able to move forward.

As others have stated, a good counselor may be what is needed to help you move past this. This would be for both of you as a couple and separately. Does he want to stay in the marriage and make it work?

Living rural was a choice you made to help save your marriage. Traveling to a counselor is another choice you will make to save your marriage as well.

Is there a local church near you? Pastor's provide marriage counseling as well. Just a thought. Do you have kids?

Rebuilding trust, forgiving and moving forward is one of the hardest challenges in a marriage. It is hard, but not impossible. It takes baby steps.

Seek wise counsel and take the necessary steps to move forward. Staying where you are has not helped. Actions speak louder than words.

Join the Conversation