Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Swtf 07/04/2017

I'm not sure if I'm going crazy or if I should go with my gut. A few months ago I started having this crazy idea that my husband of 6yrs (started dating 18yrs ago) as cheating on me with my twin sister. We have a 16year old, and a 9 month old. Obviously that is a huge age gap, we were young never prevented pregnancy in those 16 years, it just never happened until now. He hasn't had a steady secure job in almost 3 years. So things have been stressful, new adjustments with baby etc. There is obvious tension in the house, resentment, and I feel like me and our 16yr old are walking on egg shells. Anyway long story short, with all the extra stress the last few months there's been alot of signs for me to think this. I don't know what to do. Do I call them out? 2 months ago we got into a huge fight thay I started about nothing major and it turned into him telling me We are in a loveless marriage, I don't know who he really Is, I complain to much, and just leave I don't know why you haven't already...I could go on... if i call them out and are wrong? Both relationships would be ruined...if I'm right both are ruined anyway but I will feel completely helpless, sickened, I don't even know if I'd be able to cope with it. Or do I forget about it unless something obviously happens? Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Stove920 07/05/2017

I would not call them out without any hard evidence. But will say when you have a gut feeling go with your gut, but not without evidence. Try getting a small digital tape recorder, hide it where he always is, car, garage, man's cave. Even better if it's somewhere in the house get a old cellphone, as long as you have a Wi-Fi in the house download a app called baby monitor, it's free .Good luck, I've been there and know how it feels.

deadspermvictim 07/05/2017

i would advice you to go with the phrase "innocent until proven guilty"
doubts eat your marriage life like a termite, so dont go into that until something obvious comes out,
there can not be more than 2 scenario's

1. he is cheating

2. he is not cheating and its just illusion

what can you do if "he is cheating"? fight with everyone involved then forgive and forget? separate from him? divorce? in any case your relationship will be not same and your kids will have to suffer as well.

what if "he is not cheating" and you suspect him of cheating, this way you will have many sleepless nights and ruin your could be healthy relation just because of this doubt and at the end the result will be similar to "if he is cheating"

i think better to forget this issue until something concrete come out, if positive then decide will u forgive separate or divorce, if negative then you will thank yourself that you didnt ruin it by doubts.

Lenoire 07/05/2017

I'm sorry to read of your situation. If what you suspect is true, nothing could be more blasphemous.

In a betrayed spouse's world, swinging moods and hearing the words, I'm in a loveless marriage, is code for, 'If you really want to know, I'm having an affair.' A few other signs are: they guard their phone, they quickly close down their computer or laptop when you enter the room, they get mad at you for speaking poorly of the person they're cheating with, just to name a few. Often, when a loyal spouse feels like something is going on, it's our gut telling us what our mind doesn't know yet.

Don't confront them or say anything to make them think you're onto them. Do your due diligence: go through his phone in private, check his email, and anywhere you believe they may be contacting one another. If you're wrong then you will have your proof, and can rest easy. Yet if you're right, it's important that you not react, as you will need to protect yourself. Take copies and save onto your computer or data storage anything you find. If you don't and confront him, he'll go and delete it all and will blame you for going through his things. So if you're going to do this, you must be stealth and keeps your wits about you.

Wishing you well.

Swtf 07/05/2017

Thanks for the input. I do not have hard evidence. Just this heart wrenching feeling. He has his phone on him at all times, which is nothing new, however he is on it non stop which is new. And when I with her she doesn't tell me who texts her, and I've tried to check but I don't know the pass code. After that fight I confided in her and said the only thing I could figure why things have changed is if he was with someone else. She immediately said he would never. I did actually just ask him and he rolled his eyes laughed and asked me if I was serious. I'm just sick thinking all of this. He goes out in the evening to his friends and replies to my text 30min to an hour later, she does the same when he's not home. She doesn't reply to my text...their phones are like a second appendage so it doesnt seem right to me, and both of them have stupid excuses for not answering me.

Stove920 07/05/2017

Another way is look at the cell phone bill. I know mine with Sprint shows the number called and texted.

calirn13 07/06/2017

I found this spy camera on amazon today.. it is a USB phone charger.. thought is was a cool idea.. I would buy a few of them!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B06XTQXX56/ref=mp_s_a_1_4/145-5988129-7578052?ie=UTF8&qid=1499328981&sr=8-4&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=hidden+usb+spy+camera&dpPl=1&dpID=41H0MafLFWL&ref=plSrch

Lenoire 07/07/2017

Oh dear, he's not out with his friends in the evenings, don't be so naive. Guarding his phone, going out with friends in the evenings, doesn't respond to your texts, it's not hieroglyphics. Don't mention anything more to either of them. If your twin is capable of doing this to you, I'd sever all ties forever, as this is an unthinkable act. Hire a P.I. if you have to, just get someone to follow him and or her and see where they go.

jennifera 07/07/2017

When we have strong hunches that is called a sixth sense. I don't think you should ignore it but I do think you need concrete proof before you confront either one of them.
It could be as simple as next time one of them are out, stop by unannounced to where they say they are.
There are dozens of apps now to locate and track people too.

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