Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Although it's been 4 yrs. since he cheated I still don't trust him, I haven't forgiven him and sometimes I look at him with total disgust. One minute I want to just get over it and be happy and in love with my husband and the next I am angry and dont know why I stayed.And every time we have a big arguement I revert back to why am I with this ass whole. Sometimes when we argue he says things that cut me to the core and I get angry with myself for settling for the bull shit. I just dont know any more!! I always welcome feedback from all but now I have another dilemma and this is a question from the guys. I respect feedback on some topics from females but some only men can respond appropriately because we're just not them!!
So my dilemma is pornographic. How much is too much porn? So I am guilty of going through his phone history and it appears he watches pornographic every week, sometimes once,twice or three times and video after video. When I think he's in the den late nights watching tv, he's watching porn instead but yet there nights we don't do nothing. What's up with that? I'm not against porn but damn not when I'm in the next room and dont mind getting freaky if need be. I always knew he watched porn but I didn't know he was still sneaking and watching this much but not putting down in the bedroom. Am I really making too much of it or is it just a man thing? Because right now I'm really feeling neglected and looking at him like a pervert especially since some of the videos are teens. REALLY? Please keep it real with me......
Since I was cheated on by ex and I stayed for some time, I just want to tell you that the feelings you're having regarding his past cheating, will not likely go away. My ex was caught cheating after we were married for 6 years. I stayed and life was actually better than it was before he was caught cheating. He was so remorseful and I fell for his devotion, hook, line and sinker! 8 years later he was caught again. This is the time that things were never the same again. I thought about his cheating and all I had done to get through it. He begged me to stay and he acted remorseful again, but the memory of it all was always at the surface of my thoughts. I kept thinking he owed me BIG and the playing field was never balanced again. If you're 4 years out and are still having these feelings, I don't know if you're ever going to balance your playing field again. And, I learned later that if you don't have a balanced playing field, your relationship is in trouble. So, my advice to you is that if you want to stay together, you should work on correcting the balance. Maybe marriage counseling???
When he says ugly things to you - do NOT tolerate that. Just look him in the eye and say: don't talk to me like that, and walk away. He knows exactly what he is doing which is trying to hurt you. He is angry with you for ruining his fun.
Try not to think about him so much. Focus on yourself and what you want out of your life. I know that can be difficult. You do not trust him. I get it. But in the end this is your life and you need to be doing things that make you happy.
If he is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. If you know what you want out of life, have a plan, and some money set aside, you can just kick the jackass out and start your new life without him.
As for the porn - I am SO glad you asked this question! One of the ways I knew my H was headed off to his slut, was that when I checked his computer, he had been looking at porn.
We had supposedly reconciled for the 100th time and I actually did think things were back on track with us and he was over his slut and cheating, and I checked his computer and sure enough! He was looking at porn and the women all resembled his slut. I came down on him like the Wrath of Khan and he had to leave work and come home to be sure I didn't torch the house and all his stuff.
Recently he said: I don't do that any more. So clearly there is a very direct link with the porn and the cheating. I had even seen my H's T after the aforementioned event and asked him what the story is. He didn't tell me much. But I did say that I was done if this is what my life is going to be -
game of Catch Me If You Can. I don't need this.
What is odd is that he never asks for anything kinky. I just don't get it. I've never refused him.
I do hope the guys chime in!