Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
i have been with my husband for almost 30 years and ci found out he cheated on me. at first he was willing to do anything to help us recover now a week later he said he sorry and what else can he do. he told me to go and work on myself and find someone new. he missed our first marriage counseling today. the counselor said dont call him or text and give him space or i may chase him away further. i am the victim here not him so why should i tipp toe around his feelings
a supportive mode- even if you do not feel like it-act as if.This is the time to not
just hear but to listen as well.Are there things that you need to work on about
yourself because you cant just look at him. What events were happening-what was the state of your marriage in the past- a lot of times the person just does
not wake up one day out of the blue and decide to have an affair.
Honestly if the marriage is going to be salvageable both parties have to
pit in work.That is just the way it is.I have gone through this. I have
experienced your issue.I spent A Lot of time Focused on him him him and
not me me me,The one thing I discovered in a marriage that can destroy it is Egos.
Even if your husband did not attend counseling Still Go, Work on yourself
and roles and silent issues that you may have that need to be uncovered.
Show him that you are willing to put in the work and you are a wife bit also
a teacher showing that positive steps can be taken to unearth the issues,,
acknowledge and hopefully rectify.
Positive vibes and Energy also Hugs and Peace sent your way.
Why do you need to work on yourself?
I am sorry you have found yourself here.
Have you considered the advice that was given to you from your counselor was not just to give him space, that you might chase him away....but, that this time in not speaking to him and seeking him out will give you the opportunity to look within yourself to determine if this is what you really want? Contacting him right now is going to do what? Aggravate both you & him? Add fuel to the fire? You are hurt, he is guilty and is lost too. There is no excuse for his actions. But, now is the time to begin to heal & move forward. (either together or separately)
There is room for improvement in everyone. Working on yourself helps rebuild your self esteem, helps you to look toward the future in the event the marriage is not salvageable. We are not promised tomorrow and we never know what the future is going to bring. There is one thing that I do know. That in being married the majority of the time for the wives, our lives are so wrapped up in our husbands, and our kids, that we almost forget who we are and what we wanted for our lives, our own goals, etc. So at this time, looking past your husband and focusing on yourself is a good thing.
Besides, not responding and staying back, may make him think what are you up too. :-)
Are you a part of a local church family? Is there a best friend, local support group and/or Pastor you can talk to that may help as well.
Getting married is the easy part, staying married is the hard part. Which you know as you have 30 years invested. You and your marriage can survive this if you both want to!!! Stay Strong!!