Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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/ Infidelity Support Group

Moving forward

chewdy
chewdy
I would like to make this brief. After almost 12 years of marriage ( this Sunday 7/26). I recently found out that there has been some sort of "emotiaonal" affiar that my H has been having with a coworker. H was hospitalized for recent back injury and I found 13 pages on his work pager and 6 messages on his cell phone from a female saying she loves him and is worried ect..We since then have been in counseling and he has confessed that there is a "crazy" female that has developed more feelings about him than he has. So anyways we are trying to move forward but I am finding this very difficult to believe and to get past. This is the secound time in our marriage and I just don't think I can continue to be involved . The biggest concern that is holding me back is that this is my secound marriage and I can see how this affected my children and I don't want it to hurt my 9 year old daughter .
Lstecker
Lstecker
You know, you have to do what you have to do. This guy has a serious problem with fidelity. Really.

You may worry about how this will affect your daughter, but I would be more worried about having your (my) daughter see you (Me) treated so disrespectfully. It may hurt your little girl now to have you leave him, but she will value you more in the long run for setting that example for her.

Sending support.

L~
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sounds like he is putting it all on the other woman, saying she's crazy and that the feelings are more on her than him. Of course, odds are that is complete horse manure. Especially since this is not his first offense.

I certainly understand your wanting to protect your daughter and not having to go through the pain of a divorce, but I think you have to ask yourself the following questions.

1) Are you happy living this way? Live the life you want, not the life you'll settle for.

2) What kind of example are you setting for your daughter if you stay in this kind of relationship? She may not know what is going on, but odds are she suspects something and will find out eventually one day. Plus, what are the odds he does this again and she does find out?

Sending good thoughts your way and wishing you the best in whatever decisions you make.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If your honest with yourself and your children then what more could they ask for in the long run? Your kids will grow up respecting you rather than watching you hurt and stress over your H. Communicate with them in away that they will understand. Try to keep it a friendly breakup, regardless of how hard it is, for the kids sake. Don't bring them into the uglyness. Keep them involved in their kids things to help minimize the impact of a breakup, if that is what you decide.