Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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/ Infidelity Support Group

Lost and confused

Wayleen
Wayleen

I have been lying to my wife about little things like saying I was looking for a job when infact I was watching TV shows the whole day. She found out and confronted me. I still denied it but then after she went digging I admitted to it. That was 1 instance. I kept on lying to her about several other things and it even so far as to me making up stories aabout my past, things I had done. I even made up a story that I was assaulted. She ofcourse uncovered my lies and then only after she went digging I would admit to the lies. This has sort of become a habit. I cheated on her before we got married, she found this out to and again after a confrontation I admitted to it.  See she is truly great forgiving me countless times. All she asks now is that I come clean about everything. I already started telling her about all the times I lied. But there are 2 instances where I did tell her the truth but now she doesn't believe me. I really don't want to loose her and I know I have told her many a times before now you know the whole truth and then something else just pops up again. But this time it's genuine I did not cheat on her after we got married but she still insists that there's still something I'm not telling her. What do I do I really don't want to lie to her again but I'm scared if I don't lie and pretend that something happend that she will be so upset and decide to go through with the divorce. 

refurb
refurb
It is best that you keep on lying to get what you want

Oh wait

That's how you yourself into this mess

Be completely honest, tell her every secret withheld and every fffffffffffing lie

Don't make up any lies
Don't make up any stories

If she stays, be the person she deserves

She doesn't deserve a lying lazy selfish turd
Wayleen
Wayleen
Yes she doesn't. I do want to be the person she deserves. I will be that person.
I will tell her the truth and hope she stays.
funny enough i lied so much to get what I wanted, and thought it was the only way. I do know now that it's not option. I am getting out of it. I won't be a coward any more. I will tell her the truth even though I fear she might leave....That scares the living crap out of me.
refurb
refurb
She might leave

If she does, she is leaving the lies

If she stays AND she might

She is staying with you becuaese you were honest with her

And more importantly with yourself


Be honest with yourself from now on , sometimes you won't get what you want
But you'll be a person that you yourself can love
When you are that person you can really love someone else
betrayedtodeath
betrayedtodeath
There is no way for the rest of us to believe if a liar is lying or telling the truth. A liar telling the truth is an oxymoron when you think about it.
Wayleen
Wayleen
Yes. I started therapy. I hope it's not to late.
phxrising
phxrising
The fact that you are trying to work with through your own problem, is huge, and thank you for caring to improve yourself. Do you think a counselor would be able to help you deal with this habitual issue? It could be someone you and your wife see together and you see separately.
heartache5
heartache5
You are a pathological lier and I don't mean that in a mean way. But you ckearly need therapy to work on that. If you have told so many lies if course it's only normal for her to not know anymore when you tell the truth and when not she's only human don't ask the impossible from her. All you can do is turn ur life around tell ur self to from now on only tell the truth and answer every single question honestly. Go in therapy if she sees after months or years that she has never been able to catch on on another single lie she will slowly trust you again. So don't ask her to believe you cause that ship has sailed by you telling to many lies. Now it's time to prove over and over and over again that you don't tell another lie. That s the only way . If she leaves she leaves nithing you can do to stop tgat except being hobwsr and show her ur working on urself with therapy
Gutted
Gutted
Don't be an idiot. If she hasn't left by now, chances are she's not going to. For some godforsaken reason she loves your lying ass.

I suspect that you have lied so much, you forgot half the crap you lied about. That's the thing with compulsive liars, they can't keep their lies straight. My best guess is she ran into another lie and is encouraging you come clean. The thing is, whatever she's found, you've clearly forgotten about.

Just be honest. Tell her you love her better than anything in the world but you've simply lied so much, you might have forgotten one or two small things. Tell her you'd love the opportunity to come clean about any that you've missed and ask her for a damn hint. When she gives it, scramble your stupid brain and cough up the lie. Problem solved, now get to therapy before she does get fed up with you.