Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My wife and I have been together for a total of almost 14 yrs. she first had an emotional affair with an ex she my daughter was 3 yrs old. I travel a lot for work. We tried to pick up the pieces and move on. I never healed or dealt with it. We moved and about 3 yrs ago I catch her looking to hook up with other men for sex. She tells me she never meant to meet anyone and was just curious. Then two yrs ago on my birthday I find her having another emotional affaor with another guy. And it almost went physical but I got wind of it before it could. We stay together again I never healed or dealt with things. Now we have two beautiful kids. A house. Lives. And I find myself angry at her. I’m stuck and I can’t move on. She has moved on and wants me to move on but I never got the help, support, time I needed to heal. I find myself not caring anymore. I would never cheat on her or anyone. I don’t have girl friends or a mother to talk to. I don’t bring it up to my father as he is old and don’t want to worry him. I’m left to figure things out on my own. My wife offers to help but when I get angry because of the hurt she gets defensive and it almost blames me for her infidelity? Because I was in debt o had to leave home and make money. Yes I did have debt but I travelled so she would not have to work and stay home with our kids. I find myself lost. I am numb to feelings with her. We don’t have sex. Our communication is non-existent. We fight constantly. But we just won’t leave each other? Why? Should we just give up and try to be happy on our own. Do we keep trying? I’m the type of person who does not throw anything away. I want to patch it up and move on. But I feel this is no longer the case. I need help trying to move on. Or need advise on life. I’m no longer afraid to move on. I hurt for my kids but I know I will be the best dad and will always be there for them. What do I do? I don’t care about materials things. I’m not worried about losing anything. I know at one point I loved my wife. Can I love her again? Or is this relationship beyond repair? I looking to heal myself and see if I can finally close that chapter of my life.
Second she cheats 3 separate occasions and you both "just move on" each time ckearly she doesn't fix her issues. So I can guarantee you she is or will cheat on you again.
You say you have no current sex life I can totally understand that. But your current relationship as understandable as it is after being betrayed is unhealthy . Ur wife is a cheater she had not fixed her issues so if ur relationship is not good she simply will cheat or is cheating.
She gets defensive and blames you is a huge red flag. This means she is not renorsefull.
Can you live her again? No not in the same way as before that relationship is dead gone. Yes you can find a form of new live but tgats a long slow proces.
There's some "rules" for successfull recovery individual therapy for both. Eventually couples therapy. She needs to be honest and open. She needs to offer you all passwords. But all ties with any man. She needs to own her mistakes. And be remorsefull. If she is not that it doesn't work. You can't just move on. It's to traumatizing for tgat and the trust is gone. If she is not doing all that she will cheat again.
Also be aware cheaters only owe up to what they ate caught. You likely only know 25 percent of the truth. Please get STD tested for ur own safety. Lots to think about but don't keep going like this it's not healthy for anyone involved especially you.
In any sense the problem as heartache noted is that you have to deal with these things or they fester and never heal.
From her part she should have taken responsibility for her poor decisions and reflected on her character. She should have went to individual counseling and you should have also.
Counseling would help her figure out her issues and maybe this would prompt her to grow as a person into someone with better morals and character. For you it would have helped you process your feelings.
Then you should have gone into couples counseling to work on your communication in a safe environment.
If you want to save the marriage this is the course you need to take now, otherwise it will just get worse.