Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Confused26 05/12/2017

Hello everyone, I'm just wanting to get some opinions from some of you. I'm about 10 weeks from when my wife had an affair. We are still living separately. We took some strides and she was changing on her own. As far as therapy, reading, and cutting out partying. I started traveling this week for work and next week. We had a set back about a week ago. She was telling where she was sending pictures, and letting me know who she was with. I didn't ask her to do that, so was looking up. One night I had our daughter, and had a feeling she wasn't home. Well she went and shot pool at her work, said she just needed a break but before was telling me. She struggles with bi-polar depression. One second she just loses it. Now according to my therapist said to not pressure anymore, on helping her keep on track to rebuilding. At the same time I feel like we're drifting. I want to save my marriage. It has been great for about 3 weeks, connected like we did when we met, and have communicated more than we have in 5 years. Am I suppose to feel like we're drifting? Do I keep fighting or do I move on? I'm at a weird state right now looking for some advice. Im Pretty much over the affair as far as.images and thinking about what led up to it, but my trusting isn't close

ThanKS in advance

7cjl10 05/12/2017

I am in the same situation except my husband is not willing to work on things too much. I would say in your situation give it time and see where things go from here. You will know what is supposed to happen soon enough. Show her that you love her despite her faults and she will come around if and when she is ready.

Confused26 05/12/2017

I hope that your husband comes around. This is very difficult and at this point I feel that it's one way street again. I guess only the Lord knows, and play the cards that I've been dealt. Just wanted to see if more people have felt similar. Best of luck to you.

Lenoire 05/15/2017

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Generally speaking separating isn't the best thing to do upon discovery of an affair. It's a time to be together and to talk about what happened. When spouses separate upon discovery, it creates a drifting feeling like you're experiencing.

I would question your therapists intentions by asking you to leave her alone. In fact, I'd probably seek another therapist as he/she has given you poor advice. Many therapists are not well-versed when it comes to issues around infidelity, yours sounds like one of these.

If you want to start your rebuilding, she needs to be home with you. If she's still interested in going out and partying, then that's a totally different story. If she's the one who wanted the separation, then the feeling of drifting is real because she doesn't want to be with you.

Wishing you well.

Confused26 05/15/2017

I chose to separate from her, before I began therapy. He didn't reccomend that I do so.

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