Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Well, after 3 years, I can honestly say that things are better.
It was hard to move forward after finding out about his affair, his lack of remorse, the divorce and finding myself at rock bottom. I had no home, no job, no husband and no money. I had my kids and my cat. I was lucky that I could move into the house that I grew up in since my parents were still living in my grandmother's home after taking care of her during a long battle with Alzheimers. After almost 5 months with no job and no longer able to receive unemployment, I found a part-time job. Things started to look up because at the same time, I filed for divorce. My ex was unable to understand or see the damage that he had done and continued to do to me. It was over!
I reconnected with old friends and made new ones. I started dating, going to concerts and enjoyed spending time with wonderful friends. My kids have survived the transition in our lives by making great grades and developing their own friends. I am in a relationship with a man that thinks I'm wonderful and my kids are happy with him also. He does however, intimidate the hell out of my ex (GRINS)!!! BONUS!
I have both a full time and part time job. I have also moved into my own place as of 2 weeks ago. I pay my bills, keep my kids fed and we are happy. FINALLY!!! My daughter is also going to Europe with People to People as a Student Ambassador next summer! I am so proud of her.
So, I just wanted to let everyone know that though it may take a long time and feel like the most absolute horrible, heart-wrenching struggle that you have ever been through, you will make it through and be stronger and better for it. I am the person I am today because of the past, both good and bad.
Please forgive me for being long-winded..... :)
~S~
It was hard to move forward after finding out about his affair, his lack of remorse, the divorce and finding myself at rock bottom. I had no home, no job, no husband and no money. I had my kids and my cat. I was lucky that I could move into the house that I grew up in since my parents were still living in my grandmother's home after taking care of her during a long battle with Alzheimers. After almost 5 months with no job and no longer able to receive unemployment, I found a part-time job. Things started to look up because at the same time, I filed for divorce. My ex was unable to understand or see the damage that he had done and continued to do to me. It was over!
I reconnected with old friends and made new ones. I started dating, going to concerts and enjoyed spending time with wonderful friends. My kids have survived the transition in our lives by making great grades and developing their own friends. I am in a relationship with a man that thinks I'm wonderful and my kids are happy with him also. He does however, intimidate the hell out of my ex (GRINS)!!! BONUS!
I have both a full time and part time job. I have also moved into my own place as of 2 weeks ago. I pay my bills, keep my kids fed and we are happy. FINALLY!!! My daughter is also going to Europe with People to People as a Student Ambassador next summer! I am so proud of her.
So, I just wanted to let everyone know that though it may take a long time and feel like the most absolute horrible, heart-wrenching struggle that you have ever been through, you will make it through and be stronger and better for it. I am the person I am today because of the past, both good and bad.
Please forgive me for being long-winded..... :)
~S~
Do I regret our marriage...NO! I have a lot of happy memories with him and 2 fantastic kids!!! He and I have worked hard to maintain a tenous friendship for our kids. We don't bash each other verbally to them. We don't let others do it either. That is respect for our kids!!! I want my kids to know their dad. I want them to have a good relationship with him. I don't want them hurt. They have been hurt enough and they do not need either of us to talk ugly about the other. We are showing them that even though a marriage may not work out, it does not mean that you have to make it end horribly. It is not a bed of roses though...it has been tough. Most days when I do have to deal with him, it is difficult to not give in to the overwhelming urge to just plain smash his face in. LOL. However, I am better than that. Violence solves nothing.
I do still have my moments (or days) where it all seems to crumble but I have a man that talks to me and holds me. He lets me cry, makes me laugh and understands that at times I am not as strong as I want to be. He is encouraging and thoughtful. He has helped to heal a completely broken heart. Am I completely healed....NO. I am not sure that is ever possible but I am willing to try.....we shall see!
I have used this as a way of helping my kids to understand relationships and to get them to open up ....talk! OMG, that is tough enough with a teenager... LOL. I am teaching them about honesty, fidelity, relationships and LIFE. They are learning about helping mom with household chores (yep, even my son knows how to iron and cook) and about money. They know that when I say "I don't have it", they don't ask twice and they have become very inventive with trying new foods from our kitchen instead of wanting to "eat out". They have even taken me out to lunch or dinner several times with the allowance their dad gives them. McDonalds is a wonderful treat to a mom that works hard. :)
Involve your kids in helping you. Ask their opinions....it helps! It gives them some of the power and strength back. It makes them feel important and that they matter. Above all else, love them and hug them. Let them comfort you on occasion. It helps them feel needed. Show them that just because the man or woman in your life has hurt you, it does not define you nor does it mean you can retreat from the world. Life does go on and it will get better.
~S~
Anyone else?
I like to hear the stories.
Don't look at me. No success story here.
I don't know where she is now nor do I care to know. It would have hurt more if he had stayed with her or went back to her when our marriage failed. However, by that time, I was already moving on and couldn't wait to have that chapter finished. He still insists to this day that he has feelings for me and wished that he had done more to keep me. Oh well, his loss and another's gain!!!
Do I miss our life? I'm not sure I can really say if I do or don't. I think I tend more to the "don't" side! :/ I'm really happy with my life now and it is completely different now. My advice, no matter how hard is to take it one day at a time and find something to look forward to each day or each week! It helps
~S~
Good luck!!! Keep smiling though, it helps!!!
~S~
Great read in these days of darkness.
I have been going strong with my new wife for 32 yrs now.
After the soul destruction my ex did to me.
Great read.
We are always better than allowing ourselves to be disrespected and degraded. You sound like you have come through wonderfully...it's a great place to be, isn't it? :)