So sorry Ouch and I don't know how the healing can happen if you're still catching him in lies? No matter how small the lies may seem compared to the BIGGIE of infidelity, I believe it would still do a huge amount of damage to the recovery process.
I had a crappy childhood as well but I would never stay for the sake of my kids. In fact that's the only reason I still question staying with him is because I believe I'm setting a really bad example for our children by staying and possibly showing them that their fathers behavior was acceptable?
Hang in there and I hope at some point he truly get's it and stops being a repeat offender, ughhh, idiots!

You are so young. Do you really want a lifetime of all these lies?

I think I would shock him into living a truthful life. Get your plans
together and serve him with papers. When he's surprised, tell
him you are willing to hang in there with him, but one more lie, just one - and you are out of there.

When he lies again - then kick him out and file for divorce.

You will have peace of mind that you did everything you could. He will have only himself to blame. You can move on to live a happier life without this specter of doom always hanging over you.

There is the unlikely possibility that he will change, too. Sometimes a good kick in the gut is what these cheaters need.

Good luck

Clearly he needs therapy. I too was once involved with a compulsive liar and they just can't stop lying, and it doesn't matter what it is they are lying about. It's a mechanism they use to get you, or anyone, to stop asking questions, and allow them to do what they feel necessary.

They know that what they are doing is going to meet with disapproval, so they say what they think you'll want to hear.

I could never believe what my betrayer said after so many lies. I fell into a place of accepting it. Our sex life was non existent and I dove into my healthy personal interests. He lied to me up to the day I came home to an empty house and a two page letter.

In retrospect, it's the best thing that could have ever happened to me. But I didn't have a child to be concerned about and that brings in a while different dimension.

Sending you strength and hope.

I'm so sorry. You've been through so much. I'm praying for you today.

I agree with PP's. He needs a good wake-up call. Just knowing that you are not scared to leave him may help him get it together.

Ultimately though, he needs counseling.

Good luck.

I spent 25 years with the lies. I though I had to stay for the kids. I thought I had to try again. I thought a lot of things. But each time I let him back in, I was giving him permission to do it again. I finally left two months ago, and feel better than ever. I do not deserve the lies. The big ones (affairs, drinking) or the little ones (deleting a show on the DVR). Why lie about stupid stuff? I think it's because they don't know any other way to exist. For me, I had to accept that he is a compulsive cheater and liar. And I would rather be alone than lied to again over something that doesn't matter.

for me, i wish i had realized sooner that ANY lie proves you can't trust them. looking back, my now stbxh lied about "little things" and i honestly thought at the time i could trust him not to cheat and/or lie about "big things." big mistake on my part.

i always flash back to being about 7 months pregnant. on a saturday AM. and as far as i knew, he'd given up cigarettes about 2 months before. he was always talking about how hard he had worked to over come, how proud he was of himself, etc. i was in our kitchen getting a roast into the crock pot. he'd stepped onto our back porch, said he was going to call his mom, and that he got better reception outside. our house does have a few dead-cell-zones, so i believed him. well, i happened to be at the sink washing my hands from the raw meat and could see onto the back porch. saw him digging under the decorative rocks near my herb garden. saw him look around to be sure no one saw him, light up a smoke, smoke it, never once got his phone out. when he was done, he pulled a travel mouthwash from his pocket, rinsed and spit. took his jacket off in the garage and sprayed down w febreeze, then came in and went right down to the basement for about 20 minutes. i confronted him, he lied, i had to go outside and get the evidence before he fessed up. all that to say this: i knew deep down THEN that he was capable of anything. yet i blew it off. and man, when he cheated on me, over and over, and covered his tracks, i had to quote the sext-messages i'd found to him verbatim before he stopped lying about it. so, sorry for the long story, but i get it. it's hard to rebuild trust with a liar, no matter what they lie about. because a lie is a lie, no matter what it's about..