Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My husband said he needed time, said he was staying with friends, mentioned her name 1 month after he left but she was dating his friend. Then introduced her to our son who came home and told me she is daddy's girlfriend, I believed him when he said our son was making a mistake (our son was not quite 4 yrs old). Then he was living at her house, but she had a boyfriend - his friend. Then his friends name stopped being mentioned. Then he brought her to our house and took her in our hot tub while I was away with our kids and left me to clean up the towels and drinks. Then I asked her what they were (3 months after he left), she told me they were a couple. He was still telling me he loved me. I am absolutely heartbroken. I want my husband back. I don't want her helping to raise my kids. I don't understand what happened, he doesn't give me any reasons. He lies a lot to me, has been for a while it seems. Why do I still love him and miss him? Do they ever come back once they leave?
I'm so sorry to say but ur situation is not hopefull. He's a narcissistic cheater and lier he doesn't care how much he is hurting the mother of his children. He cares only about him self. Realizing that do you really want to be witb someone like tgat and more important to you want ur kids to raise in a situation where dad treats mom like a doormat?
To answer ur question. Yes in some cases couples can survive infidelity buy only and absolute no exceptions. Only if the CS is remorsefull. Realized the pain the cost. Is willing to fix himself and is 100 percent committed to fix the relationship. You boyfriend is none. He likely has been cheating for months. She probably was never his friends girlfriend . And even if she was than he's even more srlfish than we already thought. How can he betray you and his good friend like tgat.
Please get STD tested. Get counseling for urself kick him out . Stand up for yourself and find a good lawyer to set ruled regarding the kids. So sorry I'm sure this is not an answer you hoped for. But the sooner you get away from this toxic man the sooner you can start a new life with ur kids. Hugs
2) your husband is twisting your sons head around, the 4 year knows what he saw, and your husband is warping that...that is sick.
3) your son's father is a monster
4) your are married to a sick rotten turd
5) your obligation is your son's welfare
That said, that he exposed an innocent 4 year old,his own son, to screwing this slut (the gal who said she was never friend's girlfriend made an inane assumption- all married cheaters I knotw had at least one married partner in crime); this needs to be "pounded home" to any sane court; your husband is not just a "cheater"- he sounds like a sexual deviant; and so does she. Adultery, literally in front of his own child- moves toward sexual abuse of a minor (why can't the son-of-a-bitch at least keep his children from seeingit)? She sounds dangerous-and mentally sick, also;
Though I never got married simply due to never being with someone I felt would benefit, long-term, from our union (usually due to location for vocation)- I have scores of divorced male and female friends- I am a PHD in biomedicine, many MD friends- and NONE would dare "screw a partner in slime" where the kids could possibly knowit in "real time"; how long have been married? Have you known him before dating-engagement? I'd bet 2 months pay if you ran a background check on him, he has some "perverse" skeletons in more than one closet.
This is just a "hunch"- is this fallout from you two agreeing to be "swingers" but with "ground rules" he has broken? You remarkably "tolerant" of this lady doing this in your house, and in front of your son; however it has happened, children services needs to remove any child from his access- Sorry, children trump all other priorities - I love kids and am "favorite uncle" of family- your husband sickens me.
I pray for the real victims of this circus- your children. He used your son as a "pawn" to lie ; the woman is in mid-40s "cougaring" with your husband- is a mother, and doesn't care about the sickness of this action.
In the beginning you tell yourself that he just made a mistake and became someone else.....because you are in shock.....and don't want to believe you married someone like this.
Eventually as time passes you realize that this was the person he was all along and that you have been in love with cardboard cutout version that he presented to you all these years. Once this process comes to a point you will no longer love him and will be ready to move on.
Don't cling to the illusion of him as a good man who just made a silly mistake. It is a pattern of decisions from early childhood to the day he cheated and onward. You wouldn't make the same excuse for a pedophile.
Stay strong and know that your self esteem is from your character/choices and not from your marriage or how your STBX husband treats you.