Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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guachita 10/25/2017

So I guess feeling good is over. It has been a couple of dasy of feeling really down. I'm eating like crazy and crying is back in the picture. Why? why? I was feeling soooo good. I think that feeling angry at him makes things better for me. He showed up yesterday and gave me money, he tells me things are fine (financially), and says "you see, and you making all this big deal because of money, here is the money"

He does not know I opened the mail and saw he had all these bounced checks and he is barely paying what he owes. Yesterday he brought all the money he was supposed to give me at the begining of the month and thinks that erases all the stress I had to pay bills.

The worst part is that I cried when he left. I cried because I somehow say. what if things are OK and I'm overreacting? What if he is still a good guy? But then I rememebr everything he has done and the way he treats me and I cant believe we got to this point. I feel sad today. It's been 10 months and I dont know If I will ever get to see him and feel nothing.

Everythign with him is a lie now, he says he is not seeing the OW and I sdould not care because I'm filing, but I do, I do care I can't stand the fact that he does not feel bad for losing his family, I cant believe he rather be with another woman instead of coming to see his children everyday. I look and look and I dont see all the horrible things he says I did. I thought it was just normal stuff couples go trhough. I mean telling your husband that he again brought the wrong chicken nuggets is groundps for divorce? Not folding the laundry right after I washed is a reason to file for divorce? Those are some of his complains besides me screaming at the kids too much and sleeping late (8am) on Sundays. I'm so sad today, so sad again....

amicrazy 10/25/2017

I don’t know your situation, but it sounds like you deserve better. If he’s not willing to work on things and constantly blames you, then take it as a sign that it’s time to move on. You and your kids deserve that. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

copingwith2 10/25/2017

I am sorry for your pain, I understand it and wish I had a great answer. But I really don't. I cry still at work, I try not to but I do. His OW works right by my work so I look out my window and see her place of work. It kills me, I know he goes over and picks her up everyday and it hurts. He tells her he loves her, it has only been 5 months! This whole thing hurts and I can't seem to move out of the pain and sadness.

heartache5 10/25/2017

I think ur feeling are normal. U still feel pain and anger. Takes time. It hurts so much to realize the person you thought he was actually doesn't care much about his family life. It's tough to realize that. But you can't change him or his thoughts or his actions.

heartache5 10/25/2017

Sorry pushed enter to fast. He sure could be hurting I don't know he might feel ashamed of wgat he did but he may not show. Mayne he is mad at you for divorcing who knows. But you're better off without him cause he won't change by the sounds of it. Of course we want our partner to come begging for forgiveness rather than moving in with the OW but it's not something anyone can control.
Your feelings will go with ups and downs. Don't make any irrational decisions like calling him wheb you feel down. Cause he's still the same cheater as before.
If you cry a lot consider talking to ur Dr about depression. I sure needed antidepressants since D-day . Wish you the best tomorrow will be better for sure

Findingmywaytome 10/25/2017

Deep breath in and out. You deserve sonic have better and, finally, his feathering his nest is a sign of a weak man. You and your kids will be fine---maybe not immediately, but at some point you will look around you and breathe in freedom. He, like so many of these asshats, is engaged in the blame you game for his transgressions. After a while, and with support and a prescription for xanax (not kidding) , you will be amazed at how quiet your world is. No more screaming or lying or "you're not enough bullshit".

I reread some of my early post-Dday entries. My CH is a total shit for what he said to me. Even today, he stuck his foot in his mouth so deep that I just stopped looking at him for fear of losing my GD mind. After he had a few minutes, and I walked away from him, he came back an apologized for what he'd said. The reason I tell you this is that unlike 5 months ago, I did not break. I did not crumble. I did not doubt my self-worth. I knew what was important to me and I stood my ground. HE was out of line and saying stupid shit and I know better than to buy what he's selling. I promise you will get here. You will look back and see how much you have grown and be reminded of how strong you ARE. He's the asshat. You are not. Be kind to yourself. Kiss your children's heads and know you are MORE than enough.

guachita 10/25/2017

Thank you alll. Today has been a really bad day. I have not cried like that is a long while. I was going up and up for weeks in this roller coster and today it went down free fall style. I'm better now. Went to therapy today and it was good to be able to validate my feelings and to reassure myself that I'm not crazy.
It has been hard because I just happened to remember all the fuckupness of my fuckwit and it hurt a lot. "Let's be friends" he said (but before that, let me take all our savings) "Let's be friends for the kids" but if the kids need anything I won't be able to do it blah blah blah.) It was hard but I'm
Better just remembering all his shit has helped me to get back on track... this is the man who left because "I just don't think we are compatible". Such a dumbass it takes him 13 years to know that??
Uuff there you go, some venting haha night night everyone!!

forwardmotion 10/26/2017

There will be up and downs still but I'm sure you notice they occur less frequently and don't hit as hard. This will continue for some time but once you process the reality of who he is and who you are without him things will clear up.

Ending a marriage or trying to reconcile a marriage both carry their own unique burdens. Whether it is getting a divorce or trying to love a person who has hurt your more than anyone else, you need to grow and become stronger so that you/children thrive after all this.

Jane000 10/26/2017

It sounds like he's full of reasons why your marriage didn't work. What about his responsibility to communicate his feelings? He took the easy way out and sought comfort in another, rather than working at your relationship. That was a selfish choice.
If he is having money issues, they are his issues. He still should be striving to help support his children.

Its so easy to feel guilty sometimes. But i can't believe that it could be all one persons fault.

Have you been seeing a counselor?

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