There's almost nothing worse than watching your child get hurt.

While I've been lucky that the kids stood behind our decision to rebuild, I will say that in the weeks following DDay, my son would have gladly kicked my H's ass.

It's sometimes harder for people who love you to forgive a CS than it is for the BS to forgive the CS. The wrongs committed stand out loud and clear to them, much more so than the good that might remain.

For men especially, the instinctive answer is to move on. I'm sure your stepdad was, in his own way, trying to tell you that you don't deserve this (you DON'T!) and you need to find something better. He probably meant well, and maybe just thinks you need a shove in the "right" direction.

I don't know what your relationship is with your Stepdad, but you might try telling him that you so appreciate his advice, but you really need to do some soul searching and make the right decision for YOU, and you are glad you can count on his and your Mom's support for whatever decision you make.

I think your stepdad is angry for you. Your CS is treating you like a second class citizen. You are better than what you have been given. your mom and your step dad are watching out for your best interest. they do not want to see you hurt anymore. Your CS has made some really selfish and stupid decisions. He has not taken your feelings into consideration. your mom and step dad are biased towards your side. they are your advocates in this. Yes, it is harder when other people know about your dirty laundry. But you need advocates right now. I am older than you, and my parents have been one of my biggest. I thank God for it, even though I do not always agree with their opinions of things. Take the support and remember his anger comes from seeing the pain your CS had put you through.

its always an easy decision for the people not in the situation:( i am with ugh i think he is probably just hurting for you. im so sorry you are having to deal with the unwanted advice on top of the chemo treatments with your dad:(
hugs!

Speaking as a parent myself, I think your Mom and step dad are just worried about you. If there is one universal truth about parents, it's that they are never going to tell you what you want to hear if they don't believe it's best for you.

Since I chose the R path, I chose not to tell my parents. I told my sister who was great to confide in, but sometimes she gets more mad at my H than I do. Your family knows you're suffering and if you told your mom everything, they know that your H is being a major cake eater and not at all considerate of the pain he's caused you. It would be really hard for them to tell you anything different.

Also, they're probably not giving too much consideration to what your issues are regarding benefits you'd miss out on if you leave your H now. They are just worried about you.

Try to cut them some slack (I know it's hard) but they love you and want the best for you.

I completely understand, I haven't told my mom yet-she would want to know all the details and tell me what to do/feel. I know she would mean well, as I'm sure your stepdad did, but we have to feel like we're making our own decisions.

I'm sorry it seems like your struggling a lot recently. I do hope things move forward in a more positive way.

My,

Some great advice here.

My inlaws it was just a fling by our daighter.

Simply get over it and move on was thier opinion.

When you not in it very easy to comment.

Hugs to you.

My,

Some great advice here.

My inlaws it was just a fling by our daighter.

Simply get over it and move on was thier opinion.

When you not in it very easy to comment.

Hugs to you.

My parents didn't once give me their personal opinions, they dealt with the issue at hand. When I attempted to rebuild, they stood by me, and when i decided that I wanted a divorce, they stood by me. When I got divorced, my Dad came down and helped my X and I with it, and worked as an advocate for US as two human beings who, bottom line, my Dad loves. He obviously loves me more as his daughter, but he helped to make it less crazy and to keep our focus on business.

His mother, on the other hand, likes drama, instigating, etc soI cut ties with her while I went through the process. Her reactions would've been too emotionally-fueled, and divorce the core of bare business...finances, houses, etc...NOT emotions.

Your stepdad was probably well-intentioned. Regardless of any advice you get here or out there, you will ultimately have to make the decision you are comfortable with.

Honestly I don't blame him. I think people are going too easy on here with you because you are so sweet and kind. But I can tell you that as an advocate of rebuilding, all I think of when i read your posts, is wtf? This girl is young smart beautiful and so far she has said nothing redeemable about her H. Nothing that makes me want to stand behind her and cheer her through a rebuild.

He has to want to punch your H in the face. Honestly, sometimes I wish cyber space didn't exist cause I would like to meet him and punch him in the face. Sorry that this is harsh but you really truely could and deserve so much more than a portion of a man you thought you married.

Although I am struggling with which road to take myself at this very moment, I DO KNOW NOW that it can all seem very black n white when ur watching this play out for someone else, ESPECIALLY someone you love! Try to take this in consideration as best you can. If your step-father loves you, and it sounds like he certainly does, in the end he will be there for you no matter what you decide.

Don't you love how everyone has advice about all of this? Just comes with the territory, it seems.

L~

Thanks guys... yes, opinions are like butholes, everyone has one..

that's what my mom says...

I know its crazy that I still have hope for my marriage, that I still love my husband... that we are still best friends...

I know people on the outside think I am crazy, because I deserve better... and I know I do...

I'm just not ready to divorce... take a break, yes.. file papers no...

Everyone says there is a day where you just SNAP and everything makes sense, and you are able to walk away and put it behind you...

I am waiting to snap... but I always appreciate the support here-- even the OPEN YOURS EYES HE IS A DUCHE.. ones lol... its good to just be around people who understand... instead of embarassed about my life..