Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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/ Infidelity Support Group

It Does Get Better

Nanayaya
Nanayaya
For the past two years I have been so obsessed over the OW that I basically stopped enjoying my life. I allowed her to control my feelings & I blamed her for all my pain. I know now that although she knew my H was married he is the one that made the choice to betray our marriage vows. I knew all along he wasn't happy for the longest time & I ignored him and his needs. I was to blame too. I know he loves me because he left everything in his life behind to reconcile w/ me. His left his family, career and friends for me.
It hasn't been easy. I lost my job two weeks after he moved back in w/ me. I couldn't focus on my job and it showed. He was unemployeed when he came home & the day I got fired he was hired on his current job. I believed it was fate.
The OW told me she wasn't really in love w/ my Husband- she felt sorry for him. They had been friends for many years. I never met her though. She said when I left Florida he felt abandoned because I had left him behind. He had been seeing her for a year before i ever left. He tells me the hardest thing for him was hurting me & he promises he'll never do it again. I have hope because i love him more now than I have ever loved him in 15 years.
deleted_user
deleted_user
im glad things are looking up for you. i think the key is to keep the communication lines open at all times. i too are guilty of ignoring this major factor in my relationship, pre-affair. now, things are much different. we are getting along better than ever, much more conciderate of each other and spend quality time together, something we forgot to do along the way.i still have days of doubt, but im finding it easier and my partner will pick up on it straight away and ask me about it. sometimes its hard to express myself, so i will journal it and give him a copy. then he gives me feedback, a system that works for us. i have learnt a lot about myself since d-day, and i know my partner has too. he continues to go to councelling and soon we will have couples councelling in preperation for when he moves back home. its something we both want to work out, we need to get it right next time so we dont end up going in circles. the pain that his infedelity caused was so great for all of us and we never want to go there again.
hope you continue down the right path. i wish you well. take care
teepee
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm glad you and the hubby are reconciling. That is awesome and I think you can have an ever better marriage than before the affair bc you have overcome such a trial which can only make your bond that much stronger. If both parties are willing to make an honest effort then good for you. I wish you luck. God Bless.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I, too, am happy for you. I just hope I can be as lucky and strong as you. The obsession over the ow is all too real for me. It just eats me alive. My h's wandering was only 3 months ago..so, maybe with time I can be as blessed as you. Take care.......
deleted_user
deleted_user
thanks for that-i hate how much HATE i feel for the OW. although i love my husband dearly i often feel like i hate him more than i love him. i do realize that my hate for them both is really just anger. i hate this feeling and i want nothing more than to let this go. i think i would be able to forgive easier if they had not been so stupid and had a baby, that is really holding me by the throat. anyway only time will tell.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks hun! Your post is great.. Gives me hope..
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with jaew , I feel such hate sometimes for the H that it overwhelms me, I no longer know if I feel love for him. It doesn't help that he keeps leaving for his business, though he says he wants to come home and get out of the business asap to try to make things better. How do you know if you still feel love ?
Nanayaya
Nanayaya
After the inital pain I felt alot of anger. I wanted to kill that b#%c*. I wanted to inflict the enormous amount of pain on her that she brought me. I think I was more angry @ myself for not caring enough about our marriage before he chose to take a lover. I actually told him to go find a f*&k buddy but not to fall in love w/ her. Stupid move on my part I know. I regret being so cruel now.