Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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/ Infidelity Support Group

Is it worth staying

Whatsnext1983
Whatsnext1983

A little back story to my situation...


Back in October I felt very useless and unwanted by my wife of 10 years. this led to me not knowing if I wanted to stay in my marriage. We talked most nights about what we could do to fix things but usually ended in a fight. Our neighbor was working as a buffer between us and helped us to try to stay calm we would have a couple beers and he helped me to realize that things weren't as bad as I thought. We had slept in separate rooms for about a month before one day when she came home from yoga I wrapped my arms around her and told her she was all I ever wanted or needed. Our marriage had been great until about a month and a half ago. When I found out that she was sleeping with my (friend) neighbor through our rough time and for a short time after I thought things were better. She says that she thought she had already lost me. I can't get past the fact that it still happened after we both decided (so I thought) that our love was stronger than our problems. Looking for some advice I still love her but the only time that what she did isn't tearing me apart is when I'm with her.it is affecting my whole life 

Lenoire
Lenoire
I'm sorry to read your story. If this is the neighbour friend, who was consoling you over the infidelity your wife was having with him, regardless of when or how or during what time it all happened, the only way I can see you getting over this is to leave the situation behind you. I can't see this ever not affecting you to be honest. In my world this act is unforgivable.

Wishing you well.
RecoveryDan
RecoveryDan
Hi Whatsnext. Sorry you're going through something so difficult. Must be very painful. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. There's betrayal from your wife and also from your friend. I know that relationships can survive infidelity. Mine has, but only through very drastic measures, hard work, and many lifestyle changes. There is hope. The decision to stay together is yours and your wife's to make. Both people have to be willing. If you are both willing, then there is hope.
refurb
refurb
so you turned inwards and self reflected, she turned to another man and soiled herself, get tested for STD's, that is not fun to hear but it is reality, it is where your "partner" choose to put you or maybe she didn't choose to do so, if so, then she never gave it / you a thought, yep she is a real prize

What to do?

each of you should forever drop the scumbag "friend" , she how wifey likes that, if she balks then you got to walk / run to a lawyer
NiceLady17
NiceLady17
Even if the friend was to play a neutral role in his help, he knew, and your wife knew, perfectly well what the risks of being intimate would be. He had his agenda the entire time as people don't just 'fall into bed'. If it were a perfect stranger, I think I'd feel better about it -- but a so-called 'friend'? No thank you.