You are not over reacting. There may be more to this then EA. He was sitting in her car? What else were they doing in the car. I would do some digging. Look at old bills ect. How often is he calling or texting her? Especially compared to how often he texted/ calls you. When he travels do the texts suddenly stop? Reason I mention that is because a friend of mine’s H would let his AP meet him when he traveled.
So sorry..

I trusted my wife 100 percent for 20 years ...and never would have believed she was cheating
Her behaviour was similar to start and my denial made me believe her lies...although my gut instincts knew.
Listen to your gut and not what he tells you...unless he can be 100% open and share with no secrets

Ugh. Finding those texts must've made your stomach drop. I've been there, and I know the feeling. My advice to you...go with your gut/intuition on this one.

Trust that voice inside you, because most of us have it....but most of us ignore it. And then when something comes to fruition, we find ourselves saying, "I knew it."

Be kind to yourself. You deserve to know the truth, and your husband should respect the way you feel about this situation. Ask him...."if roles were reversed, how the hell would you feel?" If you sense he's hiding something, or lying about something, simply tell him you deserve to know. Wishing you all the best, and best of luck. I hope it works itself out.

So Husband and I had a huge argument via text. He is stating the marriage is over.
In the text we began fine but I asked if he had heard from her. It just got out of hand after that. I wish I had not asked. He has not heard from her. Things got out of hand and I feel I should not have responded in the angry accusations eay I did. I was called mean and vindictive. I apologized for my attitude and actions and now it is too late. He wants to leave me and still is insisting they were just friends. That I will never let him forget about the texts between her and him. I am heartbroken

Jinxed: Your husband shouldn't have any "privacy" issues. None. A fundamental component of being married is No secrets. When you keep a secret from your spouse, you are letting something get in between you and your spouse. My wife can pick up my phone and look at whatever she wants, whenever she wants. And I can do the same. If your husband is concerned about privacy, then he's up to something that he shouldn't be.

The two of them may or may not be having a physical affair. But they are DEFINITELY having an emotional affair. Your husband is blame-shifting and gaslighting you. Sorry, but it's true. You have nothing to apologize to him for. Don't feed into that nonsense. Tell him, "I agree. Pack your bags and get the eff out."

Meanwhile, are you going to counseling?

Hi @jinxedinlife I'm so sorry you are going through this in your marriage. I know from experience that trust is one of the best foundation for a marriage and trust can only be nourished when there are no secrets between husband and wife. Your husband wanting to leave because you got angry and upset at the situation is very sad and worrying as well.

Do you have any family members that you both trust and respect that can act as a mediator for you?
Sometimes when emotions are running high between spouses, good communication can be hard to achieve and in situations like this, professional marriage counseling might be beneficial.
My marriage has hugely benefited from marriage counseling from a trusted and wise mentor of ours and I'm so grateful because it really helped us.


I do want to encourage you not give up but remember that you are worthy of love that can be trusted.
Stay strong!

If your husband is saying ‘the marriage is over’ via text because of some heated text exchange 1) He was guilty 2) He has more issues than setting up Bitmoji accounts.
He’s playing you,
Blameshifting is correct.
I don’t know how long you’ve been married or if you have children but I agree with you should take care of you and get therapy.
Do not apologize for your behavior to him. Do not.
Without his active participation and boundary setting this will never work.
Three people do not a marriage make.

Let him leave. Don’t apologize. Just be super nice and supportive while he packing his shit. This is something he has though of for awhile. Call his bluff.
If he leaves when you have any exchanges between you too be super nice and act happy!

I would say let him leave. This is gaslighting as mentioned by other responder.

Better to deal with this upfront than wait for him to cheat and effectively end the marriage through that method.

If he has it in his mind to leave you can't change his mind just as if he decides he wants to cheat, he will do so.

Take care of yourself and don't get drawn into his drama. Call his bluff if it is one or let him go down his own path if he is being serious.

I know how u feel when u found the texts. When I found my cheating ex’s texts I nearly got physically ill. It sounds like your hubby is definitely having an emotional affair and maybe more. It also sounds like he’s angry with u because he got caught. Stay strong and if he wants to leave, let him go.

yeah, don't you just love that "we are just friends" line. I am in the same boat. "just friends" go to a hotel for a few days for privacy all the time. right? not so much

My husband started his affair with texting. Leads to sexual contacts with multiple women. All our cellphones were on a family plan i spent hours looking at text and trying to figure it out. I finally called the numbers and ask how they know my husband, That,s how I find out he was cheating. I felt it and tried t deny it- I thought he is a family guy he would leave before he cheated. I was soooo wrong.

wow, does this ever sound familiar. I was also called mean because I had the "audacity" to call his "very best friend in the world" a few choice names. there "friendship" started on facebook, and progressed to hotel rooms. he will learn eventually that she is not the saint he believes she is but I won't be around to scrap up his sorry ass. she is also married..i do feel sorry for her husband. if your gut is telling you something, you are no doubt right, despite his bullshit storys. and you are the mean one? give me a break.

I had posted last year and I am now following up with the story. We have been in therapy since. I have lost over 30 lbs and some of my hair. I have my own therapist as well as the couples therapy. I was laid off since August. He has been traveling 75% of the time. We have ups and downs, I still don’t trust him and have been digging through the phone for evidence any time he leaves. He is not happy about it. Thinks that I should be trusting because it has been a year of therapy. Our couples therapist suggested that he also go for his own therapy.. He has not. Along the way I found videos on YouTube about the fat fetish he has, he commented on some of the videos telling these women they are beautiful. Has never said that to me. This week he was on business and I noticed that google activity is in Las Vegas and searches about maps of the Vegas strip. Along with looking up different emojis and meanings (those showed up on as location he should have been). He is denying he was in Vegas. I have asked IT professionals and some say locations are geo location correct others say it’ may be incorrect. I confronted him and he denied being there. I am having trouble due being too weak to leave. I want to believe him (again says he doesn’t want to keep being spied on) but my head tells me the evidence is right in my face but my heart tells me he is not lying.

Would be really easy to find out.. any transaction made with a credit card will say where it was from