Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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bayrabbit01 04/10/2015

My spouse cheated on me with another woman about 5 - 5 1/2 years ago. I found out through his email account... .he had checked the " remember me on this computer"....on my computer, and so not thinking I clicked on it and immediately I saw an email address of a woman that I didn't know...so. I looked at the email. I was full of stuff like " I can't wait to talk to you/see you again..". When I asked him about it he was just like saying "it was just a friend", and that everything was SO INNOCENT, so I called it out on him, and when I showed him the emails he knew he was caught so he fessed up to it. So now I can't trust him anymore....and he normally isn't out of my sight, which is very rarely. That's the only way that I can trust him. He seems to think it is a problem with my self esteem...but I don't agree. I think it's a matter of trust and if he did it once he will do it again.

What do you guys think I should do?? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

lisalisa72 04/10/2015

I'm so sorry.

How long have you known?

bayrabbit01 04/11/2015

I've known for the 5 years since it happened. I don't think there was ever a repeat of the same offence as we work and live together and we rarely spend any time apart. It doesn't work for everyone, but it works for us...the most part.

jaymee4647 04/11/2015

My MC go after me one time because I was dwelling on stuff that wasn't even there. She asked me if there was any reason for me to suspect he wasn't being honest with me. I told her no. And she said you need to let that other stuff go. It still hurts A lot! Unless he's doing something now. She makes no excuses for his behavior And make him responsible for rebuilding
We can't change the past we can only change our future and if our future has our CS in it then we have to allow ourselves to live Checking on them for the rest of our lives isn't going to make us any happier. Because if you are not rebuilding your relationship it's in limbo, for the rest of your life.

pinkpony66 04/11/2015

Was there proper healing 5 years ago? Im coming up on 5 years and the are still moments and triggers but we also worked hard to deal with it back then.

If it was not dealt with and swept under the rug, then it will likely not really get much better. I don't think it's abnormal to have doubts and fears for the rest of your marriage. However those should be minor doubts and fears in regards to the cheating. If they are consuming you then they need to be addressed and he should respect that.

I would suggest some mc and maybe ic as well.

cloudyvison 04/16/2015

agree with everyone, do get some MC. and personal C for your self. You do deserve peace of mind and heart.

Lenoire 04/16/2015

Is it his character you don't trust? Do you believe that he'd do something if he was left to his own devices? Like if you were to go away on holiday alone, do you believe he'd get up to something?

If so, then perhaps you need to talk about it, and doing so with someone could be what is needed. Do you speak openly with one another, or does serious conversation veer towards an argument?

I'm really sorry you are feeling this way after such a long time. It's a fear I'm sure many of us carry. I'm wondering if there are certain things he can do to make you feel more at ease.

bayrabbit01 04/22/2015

Confronting my spouse on his affairs (only EA's I think) only veers towards an argument. He swears that he hasn't cheated, but then again, that's what he said last time too. I need concrete evidence so that I can back him into a corner (like I did last time he cheated). When I told him last Friday evening of my suspicions he said I was crazy...and sometimes I feel like I am.

What i need to know is if he really is having an EA and how to make my peace with it (whether he is having an EA or not). How can I learn to be more trusting?

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