Hello. I'm new here. I needed somewhere to turn. Somewhere where others would understand. My story starts on Halloween 2017, although I didn't know that at the time. It wasn't until Thanksgiving weekend that I suspected something, and a full week later before I finally found him out.
On Halloween, while I was out trick-or-treating with our daughter and nephew, my hubby started texting someone. I was completely oblivious. During the next 24 hours, he texted this person roughly 140 times. Over the next three weeks, he texted this person over one thousand times (and made & received several phone calls from this person). I was totally in the dark during almost all of November. On Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend, he went to work as scheduled. He did not come home or text/call after work. I was worried, but his job involves being very busy during the holidays (he worked for a company contracted by Amazon). Being Thanksgiving weekend, I knew lots of people were shopping online, so I figured he was busy and would be late coming home. By 8:30 or so, we still hadn't heard from him. I was keeping his dinner warm, expecting him any minute. I finally texted him because our ten year old daughter was getting very worried. He replied that things were screwed up at work and he'd explain later. I said ok. Two hours later, after our daughter had gone to bed, he texted and said "I can't come home. I'm drunk. Gonna crash at a friend's place." This is totally out of character for him, so I was IMMEDIATELY suspicious. However, I didn't know what to do, who to ask, etc. I was helpless. I had a mostly sleepless night. He came home early in the morning, got our daughter off to school, and went to work. Or so I thought. Turns out, he didn't go to work. Strangely, he admitted that later in the day when he came home, but he was very vague about where he'd been all day. By now, there were red flags flying all over the place. I decided I had to start doing some detective work. It took about a week, but I was able to get the detailed phone log from our cell phone carrier. I discovered that his text messaging had increased by an unbelievably insane amount during the month. Almost all the texts went to one number, from morning until late at night every day. I confronted him, he lied and said it was a guy from work. I demanded to see his phone and contacts, because that just didn't make sense. He refused to let me see his phone. Obviously, he was hiding something. I googled the unknown number and got nothing. I entered it onto the Facebook search, and was shocked and horrified to see it matched a woman from his job. I confronted him, he finally admitted that he'd been talking to her a lot, but swore they were just friends. I didn't believe that then, and don't believe it now. Obviously, he was carrying on in an emotional affair with her. Maybe phone sex and/or sexting too. And I'm 100% sure he spent the night with her the night he didn't come home (and spent the day with her the following day when I thought he was at work). Since then, she seems to have cut it off with him. She unfriended and blocked him from Facebook and Instagram (he doesn't use Snapchat, Twitter or Facebook Messenger...I've checked!). She seems to have blocked his phone number too. There have been no calls or texts to her according to our phone records since then. He no longer works for that company, so he's not working with her anymore either. He hasn't gone anywhere or done anything suspicious in about two months now. We are working to repair our relationship. We are trying. We have a daughter, a house, shared friends, etc. We're really trying to make it work. But...I'm having so much trouble trying to come to terms with it. The affair only lasted about a month. I see other stories where a spouse cheated for years, so I feel almost stupid to complain. But good God, it hurts. Everything you think you know about this person, everything you think you know about your relationship, you end up questioning everything after something like this.
Thanks for reading. I know it was kind of long. I wish you all the best in your own personal situations. We're all hurting on some level, that's why we're here. It's helpful to connect with others who truly understand.
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