Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I went to my boyfriends house last night and he had a woman there. We had just gotten back together and I was there 2 nights before. He has cheated before and after 9 years I have put a lot of time in and wanted it to work. I know now it never will. I came to work today but feel like Ive been ran over and that there is a hole. I contacted a counselor and joined this group as well as blocking him in every way possible. But right now I am not okay.
sarah2220
After 9 years, it is not working. I know exactly how you feel--completely numb and with a pit in your stomach. It will get better, but it will take time. The best thing for you to do is to completely go no contact with him--as soon as possible. Then and only then will the healing begin. Don't let him keep you on an emotional roller coaster.
ManDown
I agree with sarah. It's a bitter pill but one in which you're best swallowing. Get him gone. The trust factor has been shattered at this point. Nothing left to preserve being that he is (WAS) your boyfriend and nothing more.
phoenix6
Thank you Sarah and ManDownyou are both right. I have cut of contact I blocked him on social media and my phone. I also have access to 3 free counseling session Im waiting on the call back to set up that appointment. I have blocked him before and then unblocked when I thought I was strong enough and allowed him to pull me back in. I understand that this is a permanent decision we will never be able to be friends. I am going to do whatever it takes. Like you said Sarah you described exactly how I feel right now numb with a pit in my twisted stomach. Again thank you both nice to know someone understands.
sarah2220
It sounds like you know what you have to do--good for you for taking the steps you have. Just be sure to not let him pull you back in (this is the hard part). All of this will be easier on you if you fill your time with friends, activities, things to keep busy. Take that class you always wanted to take. Another thing I would suggest is meetup.com. This is NOT a dating site, but a site where people with like interests in your area get together. I belong to a group within meetup.com where I live and my group has the most awesome things that we do together--as friends. It is a great place to find new friends and also learn a lot about something you are already interested in. You most likely have a huge void in your life after 9 years.
phoenix6
I do have a void. I keep very busy I work full time and I am doing internship hours for my master program. I have a daughter still at home turning 16. I have found in the last couple years when I have broken it off that at night or when I am home alone are the most difficult times. I have started mediating and that has helped some. But it has been those days and times when I have responded. I am determined I just feel like such a fool for going back so many times and then this happened again. Im overwhelmed I tried to pray and basically all I could say was God I hope you don't give up on me I have no right to ask for help when I have kept running into a burning building. I am so embarrassed I have only told 1 friend what happened. My daughter will be 16 tomorrow and I hate the hurt I can see in my own eyes even when I try and hide it. Ive let this toxic relationship negatively impact my entire life. Im sorry Im just overwhelmed believe it or not I am actually a positive person. On here I can be 100% honest because no one knows me or has an expectation about who or what they think I should be
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