Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
It's a long one...but to know the irony...
(inserted before post-didn't know it would be THAT long)
I don't know if you know the full annie history but I was diagnosed with multiple brain aneurysms (1cm and 7mm the bad ones) both sides. A nasty court battle had just started with a real ass of an abusive husband I had left a couple years before. I was extremely stressed and scared I wouldn't make the surgery. My new boyfriend Evan stood by me and I went for it. After the first surgery I didnt respond they had to go back in, when I came to the second time I was calling for Evan (bf) and brain was back to normal (basically-lol)
During recovery my ex took me for everything including the house (perjury, forgery, submitting false documents, B&E on video, damn I even have on video them planning what they did to me) I had just found all the evidence (through court searches, mostly) as I was packing up my 4 bdrm acreage and moving to a 20' 1974 motorhome on Evan's parents acreage. Then Neuro said I was in no condition to face the second due to extreme stresses, I had to put it all aside and de-stress...so I leave bringing it back to court.
End of April I go back to Neuro, everything is a go, but he asks me to participate in a study. Computer picks coil or clip, then they watch results...think about it, he will send me all the info.
THEN- In May I find out Evan was with another woman at the end of April...( I actually called her- then confronted him) Lies-yadda yadda-finally admits- then sorry wants to work on it yadda yadda...lots of tears from him...
I call Neuro, don't want study want to go with clip as planned (annie has wide neck, at top of 'T')
I was still getting crap from Evan, the lies are apparent now and have been ongoing since the start, Some may know from my posts(even during last surgery)
A few wks ago I said no more, I have been looking for a place to move and a job, (I have no vehicle ins.so this is tough)I have 2 semi's full of belongings sitting here, I also have a 175lb rottie ...all the while him begging me to stay...having me tetter totter...
Well, he was out til 5 am the Fri night and Mon I hacked into Bell Mobile and the phone records show he has been lying about where he was alot these last few weeks. (You dont call the people you are sitting on the couch beside right after I call or txt) The End.
So Tue (yesterday) I called gov. for assistance so I can leave NOW, they will allow $323 a month for shelter including util. okay, Looking for roomate situation...(maybe it can get me a room under someones stairs-LoL-)
Today Neuro calls, sending forms for physical etc. surgery will be some time in Sept...(WooHoo-better not let him in on my stress level right now)
Okay looking for a room under the stairs for $323 including util (unless I dip into the the 200 allowed for food and essentials), with a roomie willing to help me to the pisser after I move in, hopefully keen to large rotties,(oh and a cockatoo that plucks herself) with ample storage...
Guess its time to book the mammogram for the lump I found a few months ago...
Please let a beer truck crash at the end of the driveway...please let a beer truck crash at the end of the driveway...
damn I could use a cocktail...
My prediction of the future...
Me having to say...
at 5:30 -1/2hr-when he walks in, (yeah he is on the couch I am in the bed of this motorhome) after a short disscussion on how we can make it through this together, and how he has always been there for me, yadda yadda, with tears for show...(he is good at those)
Me having to say...
Screw you you gave no shits till now, you knew what I had faced and was facing all along and made your choices, dont cry in front of me now saying you love me and will honestly be there for me through this. You havent changed since last night.
(his tears dry, voice now angry) I can't believe you think I dont love you, You have it all figured out Katherine, I'm just a big fat loser out to hurt you. I've never lied to you your F'in crazy...
Then there will be a reason to go to the city and I will be a 'psycho bitch with an attitude' if I even contemplate not going with him, then he will have reason to be gone all night again, (I wont txt or call this time)
*Tuesday night...he was an ass when he got home, I said hi, (still being civil)-dirty look- he slammed stuff around, then sent and recieved some txts then made a call and as he stormed out I asked for the internet stick so I could look for jobs and a place (he took it away monday night)- grumble grumble-then he comes back from his truck with it pokes me through the open window with it then proceeds to spend the night in the shop(3 feet away) with his buddies (coming in periodically to get something and slam stuff and give dirty looks as I read my book in bed- no words though) comes in at 2am after working on his truck and says, can I have a blanket since you dont want me on the bed near you (I made the bed and put all pillows and blankets on it...Gave him blankets he went to couch when I woke up today he was gone to work...
BTW Monday night even though I wanted to flip, I calmly asked to go for supper, when we got there he left me at the table to plat VLT"S, though on the way I asked him not to. ( had a plan to go there then he couldn't yell and we could talk) once he found out I wanted to talk (mostly about me going to work-thought it could make us happier)
he snapped-I was a trickster bitch, tricking him into going to BP...
In my future I hear that I am once again the bad one...a door will slam...
and I will say...
"I'll take "WTF" for $1000 please Alex !"
(inserted before post-didn't know it would be THAT long)
I don't know if you know the full annie history but I was diagnosed with multiple brain aneurysms (1cm and 7mm the bad ones) both sides. A nasty court battle had just started with a real ass of an abusive husband I had left a couple years before. I was extremely stressed and scared I wouldn't make the surgery. My new boyfriend Evan stood by me and I went for it. After the first surgery I didnt respond they had to go back in, when I came to the second time I was calling for Evan (bf) and brain was back to normal (basically-lol)
During recovery my ex took me for everything including the house (perjury, forgery, submitting false documents, B&E on video, damn I even have on video them planning what they did to me) I had just found all the evidence (through court searches, mostly) as I was packing up my 4 bdrm acreage and moving to a 20' 1974 motorhome on Evan's parents acreage. Then Neuro said I was in no condition to face the second due to extreme stresses, I had to put it all aside and de-stress...so I leave bringing it back to court.
End of April I go back to Neuro, everything is a go, but he asks me to participate in a study. Computer picks coil or clip, then they watch results...think about it, he will send me all the info.
THEN- In May I find out Evan was with another woman at the end of April...( I actually called her- then confronted him) Lies-yadda yadda-finally admits- then sorry wants to work on it yadda yadda...lots of tears from him...
I call Neuro, don't want study want to go with clip as planned (annie has wide neck, at top of 'T')
I was still getting crap from Evan, the lies are apparent now and have been ongoing since the start, Some may know from my posts(even during last surgery)
A few wks ago I said no more, I have been looking for a place to move and a job, (I have no vehicle ins.so this is tough)I have 2 semi's full of belongings sitting here, I also have a 175lb rottie ...all the while him begging me to stay...having me tetter totter...
Well, he was out til 5 am the Fri night and Mon I hacked into Bell Mobile and the phone records show he has been lying about where he was alot these last few weeks. (You dont call the people you are sitting on the couch beside right after I call or txt) The End.
So Tue (yesterday) I called gov. for assistance so I can leave NOW, they will allow $323 a month for shelter including util. okay, Looking for roomate situation...(maybe it can get me a room under someones stairs-LoL-)
Today Neuro calls, sending forms for physical etc. surgery will be some time in Sept...(WooHoo-better not let him in on my stress level right now)
Okay looking for a room under the stairs for $323 including util (unless I dip into the the 200 allowed for food and essentials), with a roomie willing to help me to the pisser after I move in, hopefully keen to large rotties,(oh and a cockatoo that plucks herself) with ample storage...
Guess its time to book the mammogram for the lump I found a few months ago...
Please let a beer truck crash at the end of the driveway...please let a beer truck crash at the end of the driveway...
damn I could use a cocktail...
My prediction of the future...
Me having to say...
at 5:30 -1/2hr-when he walks in, (yeah he is on the couch I am in the bed of this motorhome) after a short disscussion on how we can make it through this together, and how he has always been there for me, yadda yadda, with tears for show...(he is good at those)
Me having to say...
Screw you you gave no shits till now, you knew what I had faced and was facing all along and made your choices, dont cry in front of me now saying you love me and will honestly be there for me through this. You havent changed since last night.
(his tears dry, voice now angry) I can't believe you think I dont love you, You have it all figured out Katherine, I'm just a big fat loser out to hurt you. I've never lied to you your F'in crazy...
Then there will be a reason to go to the city and I will be a 'psycho bitch with an attitude' if I even contemplate not going with him, then he will have reason to be gone all night again, (I wont txt or call this time)
*Tuesday night...he was an ass when he got home, I said hi, (still being civil)-dirty look- he slammed stuff around, then sent and recieved some txts then made a call and as he stormed out I asked for the internet stick so I could look for jobs and a place (he took it away monday night)- grumble grumble-then he comes back from his truck with it pokes me through the open window with it then proceeds to spend the night in the shop(3 feet away) with his buddies (coming in periodically to get something and slam stuff and give dirty looks as I read my book in bed- no words though) comes in at 2am after working on his truck and says, can I have a blanket since you dont want me on the bed near you (I made the bed and put all pillows and blankets on it...Gave him blankets he went to couch when I woke up today he was gone to work...
BTW Monday night even though I wanted to flip, I calmly asked to go for supper, when we got there he left me at the table to plat VLT"S, though on the way I asked him not to. ( had a plan to go there then he couldn't yell and we could talk) once he found out I wanted to talk (mostly about me going to work-thought it could make us happier)
he snapped-I was a trickster bitch, tricking him into going to BP...
In my future I hear that I am once again the bad one...a door will slam...
and I will say...
"I'll take "WTF" for $1000 please Alex !"
Truthfully, I'd live under a fn bridge, to get away from this guy.
stop worrying about how nuts he is. Just get out of there.
I got the msg below from an email group I belong to:
Gratitude is crucial to the healing process. Avoid self-pity, a major stumbling block to finding gratitude. Having a victim mentality is a slippery slope... sometimes we allow righteous anger to turn into victimization which is detrimental to the healing process and anti-peace. Victims are created when anger is fostered and cultivated. Although a natural reaction to being betrayed by a spouse, righteous anger must eventually take a back seat to mercy, forgiveness and patience.