Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
How do you cope with the holidays when still struggling as a BS?
I am a stereotypical matriarch when it comes to holidays: I host, I decorate like a fiend, I have baking days with my daughters, yada yada yada. You get the picture.....I'm one of "those".
I don't want my emotional rollercoaster to ruin Christmas for my family this year, but we're 11 days out and I have done NOTHING. I keep trying to motivate myself to schedule a baking day, or decorate the tree, or shop or wrap or some damn thing, but I just can't get there.
I'm the keeper of tradition in this family for my children, and the best grandma EVER according to my grands, and I don't want to disappoint any of them.
I wonder if KMart is having a sale on new attitudes.....
I am a stereotypical matriarch when it comes to holidays: I host, I decorate like a fiend, I have baking days with my daughters, yada yada yada. You get the picture.....I'm one of "those".
I don't want my emotional rollercoaster to ruin Christmas for my family this year, but we're 11 days out and I have done NOTHING. I keep trying to motivate myself to schedule a baking day, or decorate the tree, or shop or wrap or some damn thing, but I just can't get there.
I'm the keeper of tradition in this family for my children, and the best grandma EVER according to my grands, and I don't want to disappoint any of them.
I wonder if KMart is having a sale on new attitudes.....
Do you have a good friend or neighbor who could help, explain that you are dealing with a private matter that is consuming you, and you need help to get ready for Christmas? If it was someone you felt comfortable confiding in, that would help them to want to help.
If not, that is a tough one. I'd say the only option is to somehow tell yourself to put all this on hold until after Christmas, see if you can focus on the grandkids and such. But I know that will be difficult to accomplish unless you have a strong will.
Another option, is talk to your H if communication is still open enough to do so, and let him realize that it is going to be obvious to the family that you two are having problems if he doesn't offer some help to get you through this. Since it is his fault your in this situation, it would only seem right.
Cole has a good idea here. If I was dealing with this, I would enlist that good friend to keep kicking my ass. 'Would you please kick my ass for me????' That's what good friends are for, really.
Cole said, also, to enlist your H. Good plan. Very good plan.
What we can't do for ourselves, we sure try to for our grand kids and kids. I hear you there.
Sending you support, L~
You know, my kids knew what was going on with my divorce from my EX and the reason for it. I have no idea if this is the case for Just, but I do know that it was the case for me. I put that smile on my face and proceeded with the holiday, any holiday, for one reason and one reason only...
To show my kids that no matter what life throws at them, life goes on. Family survives and keeps loving. Love keeps reaching out. That no matter how bad it gets, we still are there for eachother...
...and that Me VS my Ex's cheating? Well, Reid, I am bigger than that.
I needed to show my kids that I would not fail, or falter in who I was. That I go on.
For that first year, my youngest gave me a song. From the Reba show. 'I'm a survivor' She said, 'Mom, you just never lay down and give up, do you?' I said, 'Nope, and you won't either.' We had our holidays, thru the laughter and the tears. I refuse to have my kids see my give up anything due to my EX's cheating.
You don't have to agree with my advice, Reid. Like ever. Who cares? Not me.
Just is here asking HOW to keep her holidays. I gave her my best.
My advice stands.
Just, show your family your spirit. Show them the best of you!
L~
Was Reid's post removed from here? I don't see it! From your response, I see you felt it necessary to explain, your point of view, and a good one at that!
Just curious what the heck was said this time????
But methinks it was a bit off???
My H put outside lights on, and did a very sweet job! Enough little lights on the bushes, and a couple little trees. Not overboard, but rather classy in my opinion.
He even offered to help me bring boxes out of the basement, and start decorating, but we got busy doing some celebrating instead! lol So he got his B-day gift, and i got a sampler of a X-mas gift, too, so all winners here.
But for some reason, I can't seem to motivate my butt, and get in gear on interior decorations. I've been telling myself for days, Today I gotta at least get started. Today I'll get some wreaths up on the door, etc. nope, not yet! And my excuse is not even about the time of year, or the D-day! My excuse is no excuse, just plain old procrastination, and it's beginning to bug me why! Seems it's easier to sit my butt in front of this computer, and type away, or play some pogo games, as opposed to what I'm supposed to do.
If anyone has any tips to pass on to "Miss Procrastinator", pleasea email me some, cuz I'm only getting bigger on the tushe! lol
Reid's post was about him not having a holiday for two years, because he was all down about having been cheated on and had not yet found his high school chearleader. It was more of the 'then don't do it.' when I read this thread and felt strongly that this woman would love to do it, have that holiday, but just could not find it within HER to have it...
...but we all know that we can always find 'it' for our kids and for our grand kids.
JustUGH is a grammy too, so I get this.
Sorry about the highjack, Just. I am still sending you support, and hope you have a wonderful holiday.
L~